The sequel to Zoolander is almost here, picking up the adventures of the male modeling industry some 15 years after the original film. But 15 years is a long time to go between films. I mean, look at Star Wars: The Force Awakens. You would think it had been a hundred years since the last Star Wars movie judging by everyone's reaction to it, but in reality it had only been a decade. So Zoolander 2 certainly has some gaps to fill, but to understand where it picks up, one first has to remember how Zoolander ended, and where audiences left off.
Our story begins in the unforgettable time of the early 2000s. Missy Elliot was getting her freak on, Survivor proved that eating testicles could be financially lucrative, and a young George W. Bush taught us how to laugh. It's also when Zoolander premiered to lampoon the culture of the day. Mindless consumption of Starbucks, dangerous eating disorders in the fashion industry, society's obsession with cell phones, and above all, the shallowness of the entertainment industry and media in general. The world we live in today is... well, not much has changed in those respects, but what about the characters of Zoolander ? What were they up to when the first film came to a close?
The movie's main character had a pretty happy ending. After Zoolander thwarts Mugatu's plan to kill the Malaysion prime minister, he retires and goes on to found the Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good, and Who Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good, Too. He also has a son with Matilda named Derek Zoolander Jr, who shares his father's talent for making show-stopping looks.
Hansel of course aided Zoolander against Mugatu, and at the end of the film is working as a teacher at the Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good, and Who Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good, Too. He is last seen leading several kids to jump off the George Washington Bridge in a base jumping lesson, but since he's in the sequel, he survived!
Mugatu is arrested after trying to kill the Malaysian prime minister, and presumably sent to jail at the end of the film. This turns out to be true, since it's revealed in the sequel's trailer that he has been in prison since that incident.
Matilda and Zoolander are a couple at the conclusion of the film, and as I already stated, they share a son. She is returning for the sequel, but it's unknown if she and Zoolander are still together or not. As for their son, he's now a teenager, and is portrayed in Zoolander 2 by Cyrus Arnold.
Mugatu's loyal assistant is last seen at the climactic fashion show, where he's in awe of Zoolander releasing "Magnum". Judging by the trailer, it appears as if he waited for Mugatu all these years as he picks him up from prison — and immediately has a latte thrown in his face.
Mugatu's muscle lost a fight to Matilda at the final showdown, so it seems likely that she was arrested alongside Mugatu. She is rumored to be returning for the sequel, but so far remains unconfirmed.
So to sum up, Derek and Matilda were an item when we last saw them, and they had a child together. Mugatu, and probably his cronies, were locked up, and Derek and Hansel had put their modeling careers behind them to teach children. But a lot can happen in 15 years, and judging by the trailer for Zoolander 2 , a lot has happened. And I can't wait to see what everyone is up to now.
Images: Paramount Pictures; giphy.com