It should go without saying that while '80s babies are terrified of '90s babies, just about everyone is terrified of 2000s babes. Sure, they might look all cute and adorable now, but they're going to grow up some day, and then we'll feel really, really old. Early millennium babies have the luxury of growing up in a world of boundless technology, and will learn an inherent ability to adapt quickly to new technologies, more so than other generations (think about how you bumble with Snap Chat or your parents bumble with an iPad — 2000s babies will never bumble, which is just rude).
So while those in the 30+ demographic find it weird that there are full grown adults born in the '90s, just wait another 15 years for the 2000s babies to grow up. Then things will really get weird. And we're going to sound like our grandparents when trying to describe to them how things were "back in our day". But they won't understand. They will never understand. They will never know what it was like to grow up without eyes locked to some kind of screen. Here are some things that 2000s babies will never quite grasp:
1. What Long Car Rides Were Like Pre Screens
My family used to road trip with three children in the back seat a lot. Early millennium babies will never understand what it was like to have two younger siblings who weren't old enough to be distracted by books or Walkmans, so they would just shout and punch you. They'll never understand what it was like to have to play "eye spy" or "20 questions" for hours on end just to kill time, because they've got things like Netflix and Candy Crush.
2. The Pain Of Tapes
Trying to find a song you liked on a tape by fast forwarding was the worst. As was waiting for a tape, either music or VHS, to rewind. Nothing was as instant as it is now, and I can only imagine instant gratification will continue to inspire advances in technology.
3. Going To Shops
I hate shops. I wish I didn't understand how terrible having to go to shops to buy things is. Sure, I still go for groceries, but when it comes to clothes, homewares, or other, less everyday and more obscure items, if I can't get it online, I don't get it at all. But I still wish I didn't have the painful memories of techno-blaring, fluorescent lit, pushy sales assistant crawling, overwhelming shops in my memory. Early millennium children are #blessed.
4. Britney Spears
Millennium babes, you can say you love Britney Spears. But if you didn't love Britney at her 2001, you will never truly understand what that loves means.
5. Life Before Kardashian
There was a time when no one knew who the Kardashians were, other than the family of one of the lawyers who represented O.J. Simpson. Early millennium babies will never know what it was like to live in a world that Kardashians didn't rule.
6. The Phone
In the future, no one calls each other. No one really calls each other now. But in the future, phones probably won't even have this functionality. We'll probably all just send brain waves to each other or something. Good luck with that, you adorable little punks.
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