How much does Kanye West love Kanye? Let me count the ways. On his latest album, The Life of Pablo, West debuted "I Love Kanye," a song that is either creepily sincere or amusingly satirical. In it, West says his own name a lot — way more times than you would think a person could in just one 44-second song. So just how many times does West say Kanye in "I Love Kanye"? You guys, prepare to have your minds blown.
Although I'm not gonna tell you just yet. Instead, I want to turn this into a teachable moment, Sesame Street style. Let's channel the Count for a moment and see just how many Kanyes West managed to cram into his new instant classic ode to, well, himself. The song cycles through every version of Kanye there has ever been and ever will be, including the ever elusive "sweet" Kanye. (That one seems to be in hiding most of the time.) By the end of the song (which, can I just reiterate is less than a minute long?), West has presented the world with a Kanye for every season, month, and almost every day of the year.
At least you will never have to worry about West's self-esteem. Let the Kanye countdown begin!
1. "I Miss The Old Kanye"
Ah, "Jesus Walks" Kanye was pretty great, wasn't he?
2. "Straight From The Gold Kanye"
Now I am imagining Kanye West as a straight out of the box Buzz Lightyear.
3. "Chop Up The Soul Kanye"
Well, that sounds painful.
4. "Set On His Goals Kanye"
This is the Kanye who did all of his homework.
5. "I Hate The New Kanye"
He said it first...
6. "The Bad Mood Kanye"
This is the Kanye who Tweets when he's hangry.
7. "The Always Rude Kanye"
I stand with Taylor Swift.
8. "Spaz In The News Kanye"
Or as I like to call him, "Everyday Kanye."
9. "I Miss The Sweet Kanye"
Wait, when was there a sweet Kanye?
10. "Chop Up The Beats Kanye"
Introducing the latest celebrity cooking show: In The Kitchen With Kanye.
11. "I Gotta Say At That Time I'd Like To Meet Kanye"
Aww, look, guys, it's nostalgic Kanye!
12. "See I Invented Kanye"
Is this a cry for help from Kanye? Because it feels like a cry for help.
13. "It Wasn't Any Kanyes"
That's not true, West. The name "Kanye" has African and Hawaiian origins, meaning there are many Kanyes in the world today. Bam. Fact-checked.
14. "And Now I Look And Look Around And There Are So Many Kanyes"
That's because the name "Kanye" increased in popularity once West became famous. Mystery solved.
15. "I Used To Love Kanye"
The use of past tense in this verse is suspect...
16. "I Used To Love Kanye"
But he said it twice, so I guess you have to believe him.
17. "I Thought I Was Kanye"
Wait...what? I don't know who this song is giving an existential breakdown, me or West.
18. "What If Kanye..."
How is this still going on?
19. "Made A Song About Kanye"
I always thought the world would implode, but thankfully, I was wrong.
20. "Called I Miss The Old Kanye"
Hey, I feel like I've been here before.
21. "Man That Would Be So Kanye"
No arguments here.
22. "That's All It Was Kanye"
This song would make Dr. Seuss weep.
23. "We Still Love Kanye"
Who is this "we" of which you speak?
24. "And I Love You Like Kanye..."
Please make it stop.
25. "Loves Kanye"
In conclusion, you can teach your child how to count to 25 by only using the song "I Love Kanye." But please don't do that to your child.
Images: Giphy (26)