In 2004, the legendary Ms. Britney Spears did something that she’d never done before: she directed a music video for the very first time. In December of '04, Spears and esteemed auteur and occasional collaborator Bille Woodruff ("Overprotected," "Born To Make You Happy") co-directed the music video for “Do Somethin’." Both the track, which was recorded for greatest hits album Greatest Hits: My Prerogative, and the music video were released in 2005. *Looks at calendar.* *Grabs calculator.* *Gasps audibly.* I'm sorry, this video is over a decade old? I guess I did do somethin'. And by "do somethin'," I mean "not notice the years skedaddling right on by me."
So, what's the "Do Somethin'" music video all about? Fur shrugs. A flying, Pepto-Bismol pink Hummer. More fur shrugs. The most exquisite piece of Hello Kitty jewelry I've ever seen. More fur shrugs. Lots of dancing. More fur shrugs. An impromptu rock concert. More fur shrugs. A crowd of people who all but empty their bowels out of excitement when they realize Britney is in the building. More fur shrugs.
And. So. Much. Flawless. Godney.
The "Do Somethin'" music video only confirms what I already knew to be true: Britney Spears is forever the queen. Here are a few of the things from this vid that are simply beyond:
1. The Uneven Capri-Short Hybrid Pants
I sincerely hope that capri-short hybrid pants become a thing. And I hope I live long enough to see capri-short hybrid pants become a thing.
2. This Breathtaking Entrance
Next time I go to In-N-Out, I'm going to try to strut through the dining room door like this. I think it'll take my burger-n-shake meal to the next level.
3. This Doorframe Mini Routine
They're not even through the door and they're already tearing up the dance floor.
4. This Smoky Eye Look
Fetch me a "Do Somethin'" smoky eye YouTube tutorial, posthaste!
5. All Of The Fur Shrugs
6. The Moment When The Crowd Loses Its Collective Cool When Britney & Co. Take The Stage
Chairs fall over. Drinks are spilled. Lamps are broken. It's absolute pandemonium. And it's just as it should be.
7. The Synchronized Head Twirl
For their necks' sakes, I hope they got this impeccable shot in one take.
8. The Pink Hummer
Not just any pink Hummer, but a flying pink Hummer. A flying pink Hummer that happens to be full of cash and guitars.
9. This Gorgeous Hello Kitty Necklace
For the last decade, I've coveted this stunning pendant. And I don't think I will ever stop coveting it.
10. The Lip Throne
Why do something boring like walk across the dance floor when you can glide across the dance floor via lip throne?
11. Queen Godney Just Being Queen Godney
Why don't you do somethin'? And by "somethin'," I mean "watch the 'Do Somethin' music video."
Images: BritneySpearsVEVO/YouTube (12); Kristie Rohwedder/Bustle (11)