Everyone knows the eggplant emoji really has nothing to do with the vegetable it supposedly represents. It's the OG of sext emoji, and without it, you'd probably be using the corn emoji a lot more in your messages, which is just kinda weird. Right?
But, the phallic emoji isn't just for sexting. You can use it to be like, "Stop being such a d*ck" or "You'll get over that d*ck in no time." There's really no limit to how you want to use the penis-shaped emoji in your text conversations — the world is your oyster! And now, when you don't even feel like expressing yourself in emoji but still don't want to say the words, you have another option: sending a message with an eggplant by mail.
Think of it as a more playful version of D*cks By Mail, because these hand-written messages on eggplants aren't just for your enemies. (Also, you can't eat this gift). Eggplant Mail will ship an eggplant with a personal message anonymously anywhere in the world for $9.99. So if you want to send a creepy message to your crush, feel like your best friend could seriously use a good laugh, or think it's time your ex should know how you really feel, now is your chance to make it happen on a real life penis emoji.
The business launched on Monday to bring the overused emoji back to life, and in bringing it back, they say people are using Eggplant Mail to make up, break up, and celebrate life.
The website promises your gift will be "100% Phallic. 100% Anonymous. 100% Disturbing." And honestly, isn't that how most things in life should be?
Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our video on sex positions for small penises:
Images: Andrew Zaeh/Bustle; Courtesy of Eggplant Mail