Just when you think you’ve seen it all in regards to sex toys, comes REMOJI from PicoBong. Haven’t heard of it? Don’t worry; it’s not that you’re out of the loop but that it’s still in in the process of trying to procure funds on Indiegogo, a crowdsourcing site that has helped other sex toys, like the wearable couple’s vibrator, Eva, get the financial backing they need to make their dream a real, tangible product.
Created by PicoBong, REMOJI is a “cartoon app that uses an interactive music-inspired interface to control not one, but four new sex toys that cater to all genders and are all perfect for public pleasure,” according to the press release. Yes, that’s a lot to swallow and no, I will not be making a “that’s what she said,” reference there.
The idea behind REMOJI is basically to take all the technology we love and squish it into one app that is fun and works with the aforementioned sex toys to create stimulation of six different speeds and patterns — and in public, if one sees fit. Sexual exploration in public spaces appears to be one of the selling points for REMOJI. As their press release mentions that this product is going to come in hand with the “summer fast approaching and the music festivals season about to kick-off,” because what’s Coachella without an app that let’s your sex toys vibrate to your favorite music while you bang your head to Guns N’ Roses? (Yes, they will actually be there for those who weren’t even born yet to enjoy their hey day.)
But ‘80s bands that should just say adieu already aside, here are six reasons why you may want to give REMOJI a try, and, if you have a few extra dollars lying around, maybe toss a couple the product’s way (in doing so, you’ll get a 40 percent discount on all sex toys, but only for a limited time). That is, if you’re not flat broke from buying Coachella tickets.
1. It’s For Everyone
Any sex toy that's marketed toward everyone, is pretty much the best kind of sex toy. The REMOJI series includes a butt plug, a G-spot stimulator, a masturbation cup, and a cock ring. Each toy even has a great name: Surfer, Diver, Blowhole, and Lifeguard. Do you see a theme here?
2. It’s Great For The Exhibitionist Out There
As mentioned above, REMOJI is a sex toy you can enjoy in public, making it ideal for the exhibitionist in you. According to sex educator Dr. Zhana, a recent study found that 35 percent of men and 27 percent of women have reported the desire to get it on outside. The reason for this is the rush of adrenaline of possibly getting caught — which could technically put you on a sex offender list in some states, so I suggest you proceed with A LOT of caution if this is your thing.
3. We All Love Music
As Friedrich Nietzsche so wisely put it, “Without music, life would be a mistake,” and I think those of us who really, like really love music will agree. So if you really love music and you really love sex, doesn’t it make sense that you’d want to combine the two?
With REMOJI you can do exactly that, as the vibration moves to the tempo of your favorite music. No, I’m not joking. Although I’m not sure how one to can move to the tempo of punk — there’s a lot of randomness of tempo and notes in that genre. Either way, punk is an option on REMOJI.
4. It’s Really Discreet
Because REMOJI is controlled by an app, you can use it anywhere… not just outdoor music fests. Hell, you could be on the train to work in the morning with your partner (or solo), and thanks to the app totally getting yourself or your partner off. Your fellow straphangers will think you’re playing a game and not that you’re controlling a sex toy. Actually, there’s no limit to where you can use it… the boardroom during a long meeting, anyone?
5. It Has Everything You Want In A Sex Toy
From being “near silent,” to being waterproof, to being made of body-safe silicone, and USB rechargeable, because let’s be honest, batteries are a pain when it comes to sex toys, REMOJI has it all.
6. You Pretty Much Already Know How To Use It
According to an October 2015 study, young people use their phones one-third of their waking hours, which comes out to five hours a day. Another study found that the average daily phone use equals 23 days a year and sucks up almost four years of one’s life — that’s a lot. But aside from phone-shaming you, which I would never do because I looked at my phone 100 times in the first 20 minutes I was awake this morning, the point is that because technology is such an integral part of our lives, you already know how to use REMOJI.
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Images: REMOJI; Giphy(6)