I am aware that we have never seen Michelle Tanner as an adult on Full House (or even on Fuller House, while we're at it). But, I am here to tell you that doesn't really matter. What does matter is that, despite being pint-sized for the entire time that we knew her, Michelle Tanner taught us all about adulthood. Yes, that's right, the youngest of Danny Tanner's confusingly blonde daughters was actually a sage, old woman in disguise. It's just that you and I didn't know it at the time.
From the very beginning, Michelle was much more than the token "little sister." She commanded attention, knew how to work the adults to her advantage, and even got her older siblings to (mostly) heed to her every whim. And she did most of it with a cute smile or pout. But the real thing to note here is that it's Michelle's unwavering confidence and self-assurance is what made her a true role model, a toddler I could really aspire to be. It's not every day (or like, ever) that I can say that.
Here are 14 lessons Michelle Tanner taught us all about adulthood, because she was always a woman who knew what she wanted:
1. How To Deal With Being Set Up On A Blind Date With Your Friend's Cousin
Just grin and bear it.
2. How To Properly Handle Any Emotional Hardship
Proven effective 99.9 percent of the time.
3. How To Speak Up For Yourself When Your Snapchat-Obsessed Friend Is Present
Don't succumb to snapchat peer pressure.
4. What To Do When Your Landlord Reprimands You
Nod and smile. Nod and smile.
5. How To Get That Job You're Not Quite Qualified For
6. How To Walk Over To The Weights Section Of The Gym Like You Own The Place
Even though you can't lift more than 10 lbs.
7. How To Guilt Your Mother Into Still Making Doctor's Appointments For You
Works every time.
8. How To Tell Your New Roommate That Your Food Is Not Her Boyfriend's Food
Mi casa, is not su casa. Bye, Felicia's boyfriend, Felix.
9. How To Negotiate With Your First Car Salesman Without Your Parent's Guidance
No, I am not paying $300 extra a month for a sunroof. But, man, I really love sunroofs.
10. How To Get Your Boyfriend To Tell You The Truth About Your Outfit
I will see the Instagram pictures tomorrow, and I won't be pleased.
11. How To Watch A Presidential Debate
12. How To Get Out Of Babysitting Your Nieces And Nephews
Offer, but don't actually mean it. Scare them a little.
13. How To Claim The Hot Guy In The Bar Before Your Friends Do
14. How To Get Through A Heat Wave In Your Stuffy, Fifth Floor Walk Up Apartment
Make the most of it.
I guess all that's left to say is: thank you, Michelle. I wouldn't know how to adult without you.
Images: Warner Bros. Television; Giphy (14)