We may be tip-toeing into spring, but you probably haven't noticed since it's a big season for marathoning TV shows. With Season 2 of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt returning in April and Season 4 of Orange is the New Black returning in June, you're likely sitting this spring out, no question. And in case you thought otherwise, Orange Is The New Black's parody of "Peeno Noir," released Thursday, should act as pretty great proof. After all, anything that so gloriously mashes up your two favorite Netflix shows is a must-see, right?
But does it hold up to the original?
Lest we forget, the Kimmy Schmidt song is a Titus Andromedon original, formally titled, "Peeno Noir: An Ode to Black Penis." It comes with a brilliant, bizarre, and music video that was hastily shot in the Voorhees mansion, and it includes our hero posing like Venus emerging from sea foam. You'd think nothing can top that, but I have to say, the ladies of Litchfield Penitentiary give him a run for his money with their inside joke-laden track, "Honey Jar: A Tribute To Peeno Noir."
While Titus is the star of his own version, almost everyone comes out to play here, so let's take a gander at the girls' version and see how it stacks up next to the Kimmy Schmidt classic.
First of all it goes without saying that Taystee and her ride-or-die Poussey are both bringing it with their over exaggerated, extended battle cries of "Honeeeeeeey jaaaaaar!" They are channelling Titus to the nth degree. But you also have to give it up to Mendoza for her slow motion hand gestures.
Crazy Morello needs to be given extra props, here, too, because she definitely brings a fresh energy to the "Honey Jar" video. Maybe it's the way they violently speed up her dancing halfway through the video (although nobody can deny that there's a lot of expert choreography put into that). Sad to say it, but there really isn't enough dancing in the OG "Peeno Noir" so much as there's dramatic posing.
Plus, there's a level of artistry that you have to appreciate in "Honey Jar." For example, note the brilliant layering of Black Cindy (times four) over Poussey at the 0:41 mark. Also,
the Orange Is The New Black version absolutely delivers the honey jar, while "Peeno Noir" doesn't have any... well, anyway, the girls are really bringing it with the jar, you know?
That said, at the end of the day, "Honey Jar" still can't broach Titus's original performance. For one, Titus gives his full self in every part of his music video, whereas I can't say that Red or Alex Vause are really bringing their A-game here. Plus, the whole downside of being in prison is that the "Honey Jar" video has a distinctly beige tone to it, whereas "Peeno Noir" pops with every hue in the rainbow and plenty of sequin-encrusted costume changes.
Still, the Orange Is The New Black version is a glorious homage that's guaranteed to get you psyched for the return of both shows. So feel free to watch it for yourself below and prepare for the upcoming Spring of Netflix. You know who who your real friends are.