'Not Safe With Nikki Glaser' Get Her A Glass Of Water Clip Spills The Secret To A Successful One Night Stand — VIDEO

No matter how up you think you are on sex and relationships, there's always room for more words of wisdom. Enter this exclusive Not Safe with Nikki Glaser "Get Her A Glass of Water" clip, which contains the hookup advice we both deserve and need. (No, seriously, you guys, please everyone watch this. It is information you cannot and must not live your life without.) Like the straight-talking superhero that she is, and backed by various B-roll footage of waterfalls, Nikki Glaser urges your one-night stand to sack up and get you a g*ddamn glass of water in the morning. Except she uses language that's a lot stronger, but can you really blame Glaser for dropping an F-bomb or two?

In such situations, my mouth is usually so dry that I can hear my tongue whispering around inside it, to the point that I'm more turned on by the condensation on the outside of the glass than by whatever it is we did last night. Waking up dying of thirst after a one night stand is a pretty universal experience, and wouldn't it be amazing if offering your partner in sexual athletics a cooling glass of water by the cold light of day was similarly universal? Truly, we are not asking for much here. I'm not even drawing the line at one of your plastic college cups that you have stuffed into your cabinets. It's that, or me gulping down handfuls of water at your sink like some kind of animal, so the choice is yours.

Oh, man, Nikki Glaser, you are so wise. I didn't realize the toilet paper situation had happened to anyone else, so now I'm replaying all my former hookups and calling to mind all the times I've had to get all MacGyver in the bathroom, and it is #tooreal. Just like everything else on Not Safe.

Image: Comedy Central