Entertainment

Will Katie & Tom's Wedding Be On 'Pump Rules'?

by Kristie Rohwedder

File this under: The dulcet tones of Lisa Vanderpump's voice are ringing! In a new interview with In Touch Weekly, Vanderpump Rules lovebirds Tom Schwartz and Katie Maloney addressed a question that's gnawed at me ever since they got engaged: Which costars will be present when the couple says “I do"? The pair said Maloney’s on-again, off-again buddies Stassi Schroeder and Kristen Doute will more than likely be invited (which, duh; they’re all as thick as SUR candle thieves now), but show newbies James Kennedy and Lala Kent won’t make the cut (which, duh; they all get along about as well as Lisa Vanderpump and an unpolished water glass). And then, the newly affianced couple said something that legitimately blindsided me. I was, dare I say it, genuinely SUR-prised: Schwartz and Maloney told In Touch Weekly that Duchess of Villa Rosa Lisa Vanderpump offered to preside over their ceremony.

Oh, my Tardon. Getting married by LVP would be such an honor. Those lucky ducks (er, swans?). There's no way they'll turn that down, right? Sorry, Don Vito Corleone, but this the real offer you can’t refuse.

Does this sound like an excellent wedding episode, or does this sound like an excellent wedding episode? Real talk: If Pump Rules gets a fifth season and Schwartz and Maloney don’t get their very own LVP-led Pump Rules nuptials spectacular, I will feel so betrayed by Bravo, by Andy Cohen, and by the universe.

If I were to meet a genie and that genie was like, "Hey, you can have three free wishes," here is what I'd wish for:

  1. That a fifth season of Pump Rules happens.
  2. That a Katie and Schwartz Pump Rules wedding episode happens.
  3. That LVP is the Katie and Schwartz wedding ceremony officiant.

Do I have my priorities straight? Psh, more like Pump-orities.

Image: Isabella Vosmikova/Bravo