The Sochi Winter Olympics have only been in full swing for three days, but what a three days: The many faces of Vladimir Putin during the opening ceremony! The bathroom signs instructing foreigners not to go fishing! The incredibly racist Russian chosen to light the Olympic cauldron, and the passive-aggressive Google snub towards Russia! If you've managed to keep up with who's won the medals during the Winter Olympics, good on you — but you've probably still missed a helluva lot of weird moments from Sochi.
Here are the four straight-up strangest...
Russian Figure Skater Uses Schindler's List Music, Wins Gold
Still, a lot of people aren't happy about Lipnitskaya's routine, which has been called "Schindler's List On Ice."
Vladimir Putin Joins In On The Fun
Putin has a history of just wanting to get involved: He was pretty upset when he didn't win a Nobel Peace Price (because, you know, President Obama has one), and abruptly jumped into Syria negotiations last summer when no-one was asking his opinion.
He also has a history of sports. Sort of. Does this count?
Everybody Forgets That Satire Is Not Real Life
Let's be clear about this: The Daily Currant is a satire website, much like The Onion. After that notorious opening ceremony malfunction when one of the Olympic rings failed to open — particularly awkward since the Olympic rings symbolize world unity — the Daily Currant ran this article. It was funny. It was untrue.
Although his body was badly mangled and the wounds were consistent with a struggle, so far officials say they don't suspect foul play.
“Sure there were stab wounds and bruises all over the body,” admits the lead investigator on the case. “But who knows what caused them. Maybe he tripped and fell on a set of knives. Right now we’re ruling this an accidental death.
“It’s terrible when accidents like this happen. But then again, maybe Mr. Avdeyev should have thought twice before he screwed up the Olympics. Accidents tend to happen to people who betray Russia.”
Hee hee ... oh, wait. A whole bunch of people thought this was completely real, and the article swiftly went viral.
This is why we can't have nice things.
Olympic Skater Accidentally Strips On The Ice
Graf was a good sport about it. "We have very good suits and they are very tight... You just want to breathe and you want to take off your suit," she told the Associated Press. "Only afterwards did I realize that maybe this video will appear on YouTube. But I don’t think it will be so bad."
And Putin didn't mind at all. "You brought an unforgettable moment of triumph and utter joy to millions of fans," he said to Graf in a public statement, "by taking the first medal of our team."
Images: Getty Images