The 18 Funniest Quotes From 'Bridget Jones' Diary' That You Probably Forgot About
While it would be unimaginable to ever forget a line such as, "I like you very much — just as you are" from Bridget Jones' Diary, it is possible that even mega fans may not remember every quotation from Bridget Jones' Diary . I know that sounds blasphemous for some Bridget Jones fans who, like myself, pride themselves on knowing the movie by heart. The first film in the Bridget Jones series turns 15 years old on April 13, 2016 and over the past 15 years, I have had ample time to watch the movie over and over again — and trust me, I have. Yet, 15 years also regrettably means that I have had ample time to overlook or forget some of the most hilarious lines from Bridget Jones' Diary .
With a column, three books, two movies, and another movie — Bridget Jones' Baby — on the way, Helen Fielding's blundering Bridget has won the hearts of many women who can relate to her antics for over two decades. And Renée Zellweger's Bridget is just as lovable and quotable as she was when she first hit movie theaters 15 years ago. Even if I found more issues with Zellweger's British accent now than I did back in 2001, her talking about her bottom being "the size of Brazil" and — on the flip side — her "genuinely tiny knickers" still makes you love Bridget as much as you did in 2001.
Of course, Bridget isn't the only funny and memorable character, so put in your Bridget Jones DVD or stream it on Netflix in honor of the 15th anniversary. And during your rewatch, look out for these 18 hysterical, but perhaps forgotten, lines from Bridget Jones' Diary. My apologies in advance for classic lines that are missing from this list, but you and I both know you couldn't have possibly forgotten them since some of them are the top 30 movie quotes of our time.
1. "Oh, don't be silly, Bridget. You'll never get a boyfriend if you look like you've wandered out of Auschwitz."
Perhaps the most underappreciated character (from a comedic standpoint) is Bridget's mother Pam Jones, who has a knack for offending people as she displayed immediately in the film with this truly distasteful Holocaust insult.
2. "Most of the time I just want to staple things to her head."
Ahhh, Perpetua. Haven't we all wanted to staple things to a coworker's head in a confined workplace just like Bridget?
3. "Then I think a well-timed blow job's probably the best answer."
When Bridget asks how to handle a work faux paus with her boss Daniel, her friend Tom gives her the most logical advice.
4. "Shut up, please. I am very busy and important."
Bridget's response to flirtatious e-mail exchanges with Daniel is a perfect way to silence anyone in the workplace or in life in general.
5. "To be honest, darling, having children isn't all it's cracked up to be. Given my chance again, I'm not sure I'd have any."
Clearly, Bridget's habit of putting her foot in her mouth was a learned behavior from her ever-loving mother.
6. "Have you got a boyfriend? A real one?"
Jim Broadbent's incredulous expression as he asks Bridget about her boyfriend gets me every time.
7. "She was very frightened. She's only just had her ovaries done."
Poor Colin Jones decided to follow his daughter's advice of flirting during the (canceled) tarts and vicars party by trying his moves on Penny Husbands-Bosworth, only to get criticized by his estranged wife.
8. "I mean, I know it's been awkward as ass, but there's no need to leave."
After Bridget discovers Daniel sleeping with Lara, he unsuccessfully uses this line to convince Bridget not to quit her job as his assistant. "Awkward as ass," indeed.
9. "Nothing can distract me from my dedication to the pursuit of truth. Well — almost nothing. Right. I'll just pop to the shop quickly for some ciggies."
Just because Bridget got a job as a TV personality doesn't mean she isn't the same old Bridget.
10. "Where the f*ck is the f*cking tuna?"
Perhaps my favorite line of the entire movie. Perfect for stressed out cooking situations or when you have nothing in the fridge.
11. "Christ, is that blue soup?
Daniel says this while trying to win Bridget over (again), but understandably he got a bit distracted by her birthday dinner feast.
12. "Well quick! It's a real fight!"
Tom is full of sheer joy at the sight of Daniel and Mark battling in the street and doesn't understand why not everyone in the restaurant doesn't feel the same level of excitement.
13. "December 25, weight 140 pounds plus 42 mince pies. Alcohol units, oh, thousands. BUGGER OFF!"
I'm going to say that the thousands of alcohol units may have had something to do with Bridget shouting at the Christmas carolers.
14. "The thing is ... well, close up, he was almost purple."
Pam finally realized the error of her ways with dating the "tangerine-tinted" Julian.
15. "Well, better dash. I’ve got another party to go to. It’s single people … mainly poofs. Bye!"
Bridget always knows how to make an eloquent exit.
16. "I can't believe you said what you said you said."
Jude saying this to Bridget is on par with the Friends line, "They don't know that we know they know we know."
17. "Passport, Bridget. And pants."
One of the rare lines that Shazza says that does not contain the word "f*ck." I wish I had her around when I was packing for international travel.
18. "I just wanted to know if you were available for bar mitzvahs and christenings, as well as ruby weddings. Excellent speech.”
Did you think I forgot about Mark Darcy?!? Of course not! Although his character isn't known for his witty repartee all the time, he mocked Bridget before giving her one of the all-time best kisses in movie history.
Now rewatch Bridget Jones' Diary in all its glory for its 15-year anniversary and never forget these quotes again.
Images: Miramax (19)