Why Men Fake Orgasms — And What It Reveals About Your Relationship

Women aren’t the only ones guilty of faking orgasms. As a new study published in the journal Sexual and Relationship Therapy found men fake orgasms too — and they do it more than a quarter of the time. Seems surprisingly high, right? 

A 2011 study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that 80 percent of women have faked an orgasm. More than 25 percent said they used “vocalization” to fake it and 90 percent said they only did it because they realized that they weren’t going to come

For the recent study, all of the subjects in the study said they’ve feigned an orgasm with their current relationship partner at least once. Each participant had been in their current relationships for at least four months. Participants were recruited through crowdsourcing platform Mechanical Turk.

“No study to date has thoroughly investigated men’s motivations for feigning orgasm, or how these motives might be related to sexual and relationship satisfaction and sexual desire,” Canadian researchers Léa J. Séguin and Robin R. Milhausen wrote in the study

Wondering how guys fake it in the first place?

“Obviously it has to be hidden whereas a woman can easily hide an orgasm,” Dr. Dawn Michael, certified clinical sexologist and sexuality counselor tells Bustle. 

Dr. Dawn says one of her clients was on anti-depressants that affected his ability to orgasm. “He still enjoyed having sex but it took him so long that his girlfriend would get sore and complain. He started to wear a condom and stated that he had an orgasm taking off the condom after and throwing it away, faking that he had ejaculated,” she says. 

Throwing away the condom right away? That's one way to do it. Séguin and Milhausen, recruited 230 men between 18 -o 29-years-old to investigate the subject of men faking orgasms, more importantly, their motivations for doing so. Below are some interesting findings from the study. But first, check out our video on sex positions for small penises:

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1. Men Reported Faking an Orgasm In About 30 Percent Of Their Sexual Encounters 

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While faking it during typical penile-vaginal intercourse was most common, participants said they also faked it during oral, anal, and “manual stimulation.” So, it doesn’t really matter what they’re doing, if they want to fake it, they will.

2. Men Had Different Motivations For Pretending 

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Because the participants were in established relationships, they were most likely to fake an orgasm to help boost their partner’s self-esteem. They were least likely to fake it because the sex was “unappealing.” Some said they did because they were intoxicated and wanted to feel or appear sexy, and others didn’t want to upset their partner. 

3. The More Often A Man Faked Orgasms With His Partner, The More Sexually Satisfied He Was

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Here’s where it gets interesting. Men who were both sexually and romantically satisfied with their relationships faked their orgasms not only to make they partners happy but to fake a “mutual orgasm.” I mean, climaxing with a partner is certainly possible but it's no easy feat.

“Men who often pretend orgasm with their partner may be motivated to do so for their partner’s sake, which ultimately may be motivated by their happiness or satisfaction with their relationship,” Séguin and Milhausen said in the study. 

4. The Opposite Is True If He’s Not Happy With His Relationship 

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If a guy faked it because he was dissatisfied with the sex or his partner, he was more likely to report being less satisfied with his relationship overall. 

“When orgasm is simulated because the sex is not satisfying, or because the partner is not desired, men can be encouraged to explore ways to enhance pleasure in sex, or to communicate with their partners about activities which they find arousing and satisfying,” the researchers wrote. 

There are plenty of reasons why someone can’t finish in bed. In reality, it’s nothing to be too concerned about. The truth is, it happens. If anything, there’s always next time. 

Images: Andrew Zaeh/Bustle; Giphy(4)

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