All hail the enigmatic Queen Bey. Big things are happening for those of us who plan our lives around when Beyoncé may or may not release new songs, albums, projects, or athletic clothing. So listen up and mark your calendars for April 23, the day Beyoncé's new project — Lemonade — is set to premiere on HBO. Though from the 20-second teaser (see below) it's unclear what in Bey's name I am looking at (seriously, what is this?), what's not unclear is the fact that Beyoncé has been dropping hints for this thing since — wait for it — last year.
What am I talking about? Simple: About 29 weeks ago, give or take a day or two, Beyoncé posted a series of photos to Instagram that had all one thing in common: Lemons. There was Bey, happily smelling a presumably just-plucked-from-the-tree lemon, a glass of very yellow lemonade, and a lemon candle serving as a table center piece. These are things I cannot make up, people. These are things only Beyoncé can make up because she's not so much human as she is goddess with a now alleged penchant for lemons. Like, she's been hinting at Lemonade for ages, and we missed it every. Single. Time. How is that possible?! Are we all that blind?!
So, this got me to thinking. What else has Beyoncé been hiding from us? What other sneaky Instagram posts actually mean something other than what we think they mean?! Who is Beyoncé? DO WE EVEN KNOW HER ANYMORE?! (Sorry, lost it for a second.)
*Clears throat* Let's investigate.
This Series Of Flowers: What Do They Mean?
They are yellow, and they are flowers. Does this symbolize that because they are yellow, they are like lemons, and because they are flowers, they are fresh, and therefore yellow = fresh new beats, and therefore Lemonade = fresh new album?
These flowers are pink. Like pink lemonade? Lemonade equals fresh new album theory still going strong!
Here is another yellow flower, and then a flower with more colors. But they are not real flowers. Is she faking us out? Is it all fake? Is everything fake?
Is this flower smiling because it knows I'm confused? Is Bey mocking me? Am I smiling because I'm being mocked by Bey? Is Bey somewhere right now, smiling at the thought of someone smiling at this smiling flower?
This Airplane Shot: What Does It Mean?
She's going somewhere. Will there be a song/video/clothing line about airplanes? What about an airplane line? Is this the "Paparazzi catching [her] fly?" Would the airplane line be called "Fly?" or "Jet Blue Ivy?" or just "é"?
Casa Azul: What Does It Mean?
"Casa Azul" translates to "The Blue House" in Spanish, but WAIT. La Casa Azul is actually a Spanish Indie Pop Band from the 1960s. Perhaps a cover of one of their songs is nigh.
Or perhaps Bey is painting her house blue.
These Carbs: What Do They Mean?
Is Bey opening up a restaurant that exclusively serves carbohydrates? Would it be called "Carbeyhydrates?" Would it be called "Dangerously In Love With Carbs"? Would it be called "é"?
That's all the speculating I can do for now, lest I want my mind to explode. Remember to check out Lemonade — whatever it is! — on April 23 at 9 p.m. ET, and watch the preview below.