What's Next For 'Vanderpump's Stassi?

Monday night was a big TV night for me: the spectacular second half of the Vanderpump Rules reunion aired AND Stassi Schroeder and Anderson Cooper were on Watch What Happens Live . While the Jax Taylor/Kristen Doute hookup details did have me hooting and hollering and Tom Sandoval's dance moves warmed my soul, I couldn't really relax. The uncertainty regarding Schroeder and VR loomed over me. Schroeder never explicitly said that she was done with the show, but she did say she'd moved on from SUR/the cast (which we knew). “I don’t work with them. I couldn’t,” Schroeder told reunion moderator Andy Cohen when he remarked how interesting they all still SURve together. “Doing [the reunion] and seeing this reminded me exactly why.”

Does this mean she can't stomach the thought of returning to neither SUR nor the show?! I. Don't. Know. UGHHH.

On WWHL, Cohen asked whether or not Schroeder would come back to VR if there was another season. She danced around the question: she listed her latest endeavors and said, “I’m not going to go waitress again.” Hmmm. HMMMMM. But would she VR again?! T.B.D.

Cohen responded, “I hope they can figure out a way to see you back there somehow.”

I’m with Cohen: the show’d better do whatever it takes to bring Schroeder back. She doesn’t want to SURve? Okay. The show can make it work. I don't know how, exactly. But I know it can make it work. I believe in the show.

I am most certainly stressing about the fate of the series (JUST RENEW IT ALREADY. COME ON, BRAVO), but I’m also freaking out over Schroeder’s future involvement. Stassi Schroeder is my sun, moon, and stars. And yes, I've been wondering what Schroeder might do post-Season 2, and here are a few possible scenarios:

Schroeder sticks with VR

This is my dream. It might be a selfish dream, but it is my dream. I love VR unconditionally, yes, but I would only love it more if Schroeder stayed.

Schroeder gets a spinoff

If Schroeder can't/won't be on VR, a spinoff series would be the next best thing. Schroeder is too brilliant at the reality TV game to bow out now.

Schroeder occasionally drops by the show

Camille Grammer will make a Real Housewives of Beverly Hills cameo every now and then. While I miss Grammer being a cast regular, some Grammer is better than no Grammer at all.

If Schroeder was no longer in the cast but popped up in a few VR eps, I would be grateful. Yes, her brief appearances would remind me what a void she left behind, but I would gladly take it. Because some Schroeder is better than no Schroeder at all.

Schroeder quits the show completely

During WWHL, she told Cohen that she's currently “working with different accessory and jewelry brands with styling” and “developing [her] own site." She could double-down on her the website developer and stylist career paths, and leave the reality TV life in the dust. If she was totes donezo with VR/reality TV, I would be devastated. Not going to sugarcoat it. Even so, I would only send positive vibes her way. I'd root for her no matter what. If she needed to turn the life page, so be it. It's her life, not mine. (Though sometimes it may seem like I take her life more seriously than my own.)

VR is not renewed, Schroeder/everyone moves on with their lives

Except me. I would not move on. I would be a wreck. I would carry my grief with me forever.

Schroeder runs for President and wins


You're not feeling this scenario? Well, in the words of one Stassi Schroeder:

Oh man. That was very aggressive of me. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I just get so amped up over Schroeder! Call me Jax Taylor, because Schroeder has quite the hold on me.

Images: bricesander/tumblr; turnerandkane/tumblr