The pen may be mightier than the sword, but the wit of one Veronica Mars, Private Investigator, is sharper than the pen and sword combined. Ms. Mars is loved by fans for things like snooping, amateur photography, and caring little about what others think, but the mystery-solving teen is best known for her wit and searing words that come out when haters are a-knocking at the door. Not many people can do what she does, but Veronica Mars destroys haters with her words like nobody's business.
As fans know, Veronica went through a series of harsh, life-changing events at an early age. From her best friend getting murdered to her father losing his job, the poor girl dealt with insane amounts of terrible events way too young. Some people would crumble under that sort of insane pressure, but not Veronica. Instead, and perhaps in spite of those challenges, she hardened up, learned to not take anyone's crap, and became a savvy (if perhaps a tad untrusting) badass. Perhaps the wit and humor were always in her DNA, but through tragedy, Veronica learned how to hone them both and become a strong adversary against all haters. Here are 13 times VM fought back against her critics in the wittiest, sharpest ways possible.
1. When She Punked The Principal
Faking an administrator out Ferris Bueller-style is fierce.
2. When She Was Extremely Unimpressed
When Weevil and his gang were being misogynistic jerks, Veronica wasn't having it, and mocked them for their behavior.
3. When She Wasn't Afraid To Mince Words
When Logan and Wevil rolled up to the restaurant where Veronica worked to try to get her to help them out with a favor she found uncomfortable (bugging a confessional to get dirt on someone in Weevill's gang), she told them exactly how she felt about that offer.
4. When She Kept It Simple
When she had to deal with knuckleheads like Don Lamb, sometimes using wit was a waste of energy. For guys like that, Veronica just said exactly what was needed.
5. When She Used Jokes To Make Her Point
In "The Girl Next Door," Veronica was on the hunt for her neighbor Sarah, and was convinced Sarah's friend Adam, who managed a clothing store, knew more than he was letting on. Veronica got the PCHers to mess with Adam at the store, and then mocked him without even speaking to him by joking with the PCHers about fashion. Oh, VM, you lovable jokester.
6. When She Made Logan Speechless
Logan was trying to make Veronica feel embarrassed about joining the newspaper club because of her previous relationship with Duncan, but she silenced him instantly. It had a big effect on Logan, who was totally in love with her and found getting called out humiliating.
7. When She Didn't Even Have To Use Any Words
Feel the iciness of that yawn? Oof.
8. When She Didn't Stand For Slut-Shaming
When one of the Neptune High Elite created a online purity test to slut-shame girls, Veronica wasn't having it and was quite upfront about her views. This caused the girl she was confronting, Kimmy, to instantly give Veronica all the answers she needed about who was behind the test.
9. When She Showed She Was Just As Competent As The Boys
When Veronica was called in to figure out who stole money at the Rich Boy/Weevil poker game, some of the gang instantly argued that she wouldn't be able to play poker, implying that it was because of her gender. Veronica put the jerks in their place by reminding them that she was much more competent then they were, at least when it came to delivering snarky comments.
10. When She Got Creative With Her Comebacks
It should be no surprise to anyone that Dick Casablancas would be so horrible as to share a Veronica Mars sex tape that he somehow got his hands on. What is equally not surprising was how Veronica creatively came up with a way to describe exactly how she felt about him.
11. When She Stood Up Against Other People's Haters
Poor Mandy — she was an unpopular girl at Neptune who got pranked by some jerk named Lenny Sopher. Mandy wasn't bold enough to stand up to Lenny, but Veronica did it for her, and then made sure that Mandy knew she had to start fighting her own battles.
12. When She Responded With Subtle Gestures
And it did a wonderful job of getting her point across.
13. When She Snapped Back
Logan implied that Veronica was an "emotionally unavailable women." In the episode "Ain't No Magic Mountain High Enough," she didn't take it standing down. Get it, V.
We can't all be as quick-witted and vicious as Veronica, but we can still take inspiration from her refusal to take anyone's BS.