'Mindy Project' Writers Ike Barinholtz & David Stassen Give Superlatives To The Cast & They Are Ridiculously Spot-on

BEVERLY HILLS, CA - NOVEMBER 24: Hulu's The Mindy Project Actors Mindy Kaling (L) and Ike Barinholtz attend the Hulu holiday party on November 24, 2015 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Rachel Murray/Getty Images for hulu)
Source: Rachel Murray/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images
It's not every day that you get to sit down with two of The Mindy Project's screenwriters. So, when the opportunity to interview David Stassen and Ike Barinholtz about their new film, Central Intelligence, presents itself, you have to make it worth everyone's while. I wanted the writers to give me the kind of in depth analysis that only they, the brains behind The Mindy Project's characters' motivations, could. In Central Intelligence, the main character, Calvin (Kevin Hart) was voted "Most Likely to Succeed" in high school, so naturally, I thought it'd be fun to ask Stassen and Barinholtz to give Mindy Project characters their own superlatives.

But before we get to their choices, I first ask the duo whether or not Mindy Lahiri would be the world's best or worst CIA agent, given Dwayne Johnson's character in the film is a former agent. Without a second of hesitation, the men are vehement that she would be undoubtedly awful.

"Hands down the worst. Hands down the f*cking worst. She'd blow her cover, she'd brag about her cover," Barinholtz, who also plays Morgan Tookers in the show, says. Stassen interjects, "She'd hook up with the bad guys and ruin the mission." Barinholtz adds, "She'd cause the president of Panama to be assassinated or something, and then she’d blame Morgan."

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Traveling further down the path of the series of unfortunate Mindy events, Stassen says, "She'd spill the enriched plutonium all over her airplane." And Barinholtz punctuates that end times scenario by (rightfully) saying, "...And she'd make Morgan clean it up and he'd be all radioactive."

I mean, they're not wrong. I tell the guys that I initially thought she'd make a good CIA agent because, unlike the fierce looking Johnson, no one would suspect her. But Stassen assures me that would only "get her in the room." To which I say, touché. Mindy is... well, she's Mindy. 

While you're letting that cockamamie plot marinate, you can check out the unique, but fittingsuperlatives the writers created and subsequently anointed The Mindy Project's cast, below.

Most Likely To Be Eaten By Dogs

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Morgan Tookers

Most Likely To Vote For Donald Trump

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Mindy Lahiri

Most Likely To Be Bullied To Death, Later In Life, As A Grown Man, Not In High School (Like A 40-Year-Old Man Bullied By 15-Year-Olds)

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Jeremy Reed

Most Likely To Have Sex With Charles Manson

Beverly

Most Likely To End Up Owning The Brooklyn Nets And/Or End Up Being Becky With The Good Hair (As They're Both Jay Z Related)

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Tamra

Most Likely To Name His Second Son Gepetto

Danny Castellano

Sure, your high school probably wouldn't have allowed some (any?) of these superlatives to be published in the year book, but that doesn't make any of them less true. These guys know their characters — perhaps a little too well.

Images: tmpgifs, lochnessmorgan/Tumblr

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