11 Ways We Miss Out On Being Happy

All of us want to be happy, am I right? A lot of times it can seem a lot easier said than done, though. There are ways we miss out on being happy that are so minute we might not even realizing we’re doing them, or how much of an effect they have on us. Here, we’ll talk about some of these little happiness killers and tricks for stopping them in order to be the happiest version of yourself that you could possibly be.

Nothing beats being around someone who is unbelievably happy. These types of people almost seem to exude the happiness from their bodies. It feels contagious, to an extent. Whenever I’m around these kinds of people I always find myself thinking, “How could they be that happy? What’s their secret?” What I’ve learned is that there are little things in life that can make a huge difference in how happy we are or are not. How do we go about pinpointing what these happiness killers are, though? I’ve done some research and rounded up some of the top ones here so that we can all start to address them in our own lives. By avoiding some of these things, each of us might soon find we’re significantly happier in our every day lives. Maybe — just maybe — we’ll all soon be those people that makes others think, “How could they be that happy? What’s their secret?” Here are 11 ways we miss out on being happy, and how to stop.

1. Constantly Looking At Our Cell Phones

Think of how much time you’ve spent staring at your phone today. Likely, it’s a great deal of time. According to Huffington Post, when we’re constantly looking at our phones — whether responding to texts, reading emails, checking social media, etc. — we could be cutting back on our happiness. The outlet suggested giving yourself a break from your cell phone in order to be alone with your thoughts and be mindful of the things that are happening around you. Practicing mindfulness in this way can help you stay connected to yourself and those around you, according to Huffington Post.

2. Spending All Of Our Time At Work

Many of us strive to give our all in the workplace, but it’s also important to remember that we’re all in need of some work/life balance, too. According to Inc., when you’re devoting all of your free time to work, it’s costing you in the happiness department. For that reason, the outlet suggested trying to make that work/life balance a priority when possible. If you can’t seem to figure out how to make it happen, Inc. suggested working with a mentor or coach to get guidance on how to balance your time.

3. Trying To Be The Best

Psychology Today cited a need to be the best as one of the main ways we as humans deplete our own happiness. Why? According to the outlet, studies show a tendency to judge ourselves compared to other people — especially when related to wealth, fame, attractiveness, and power — is a huge happiness killer, and that’s just what we’re doing when we’re constantly focused on trying to be the best. If this is something you ten to do, try letting go of the need to do so and dropping the knack for comparing. You’re your own amazing person — you don’t need to always be trying to prove that to other people.

4. Overthinking The Past

Where has worrying about things that have happened in the past ever gotten you? Nowhere, right? According to, overthinking the past gives those issues you’re thinking about a new life in the present day, thereby crushing your current happiness. Drop it — it’s over and done with.

5. Overthinking The Future

Likewise, we don’t want to waste our lives away worrying about things that might happen in the future. If you’re focused on achieving certain goals, then by all means think about them. However, if you’re always letting yourself get caught up in the fear of what might happen down the road, you’re preventing yourself from being as happy as possible today, according to Huffington Post. Be present in the moment to get the most out of your day.

6. Having FOMO Overload

Dwelling on missing out is a royal waste of time and a mood killer, as many of us can attest to. There have been so many times when I’ve decided to stay in for a night, and then found myself sitting in bed on Facebook stalking where all of my friends were and what they were doing. Then, I’m left feeling so sad for seemingly no reason.

According to Marc Chernoff, a professional coach and blogger at, there’s just no way that all of us can do everything all the time, so at a certain point we need to be OK with missing out. Chernoff suggested in his blog post, “So let it go, and realize you have everything right now. The best in life isn’t somewhere else; it’s right where you are, at this moment. Celebrate the perhaps not altogether insignificant fact that you are alive right now. This moment, and who you are, is absolutely perfect.”

7. Having A Job We Hate

Want an easy secret to achieving happiness? Get a job you love. According to The Daily Mail, those who enjoy the work they do are happy, so don’t let yourself get bogged down by a job that makes you miserable. Yes, work is work — but it doesn’t mean it needs to be torture.

8. Needing To Be The Center Of Attention

Another major happiness killer is a constant need to be the center of attention, according to Psychology Today. The outlet cited “the desperation for love and adulation” as something that can prevent us from being the happiest versions of ourselves. The outlet said research shows this brings down our happiness level as it makes us especially needy.

9. Trying To Fit In

Are you one who is always striving to fit in? This might just be hurting your happiness, too. According to Huffington Post, we lose a lot of our energy and inner peace by worrying about what other people think of us, and trying to fit in with them. The outlet suggested always concerning yourself first and foremost with what you think of yourself in order to be truly happy.

10. Focusing On How Life Is Supposed To Be

I know I do this all the time — I have a vision in my head of how I want my life to be, and when it’s not working out exactly that way, I get super sad and angry. Chernoff wrote about this point on his blog, too, and noted life simply doesn’t work out how we thought it would at every turn, and it’s something we all need to be OK with. “Life goes on – not always the way we had envisioned it would be, but always the way it’s supposed to be,” Chernoff wrote. “Remember, we usually can’t choose the music life plays for us, but we can choose how we dance to it.”

11. Holding Grudges

Last, but certainly not least — holding grudges. Think of much unnecessary anger you’re causing yourself by not letting go of that argument you had with a sibling, or the beef with a former friend. According to, letting go is a bit of an art form, but one it would benefit us all to perfect. The outlet noted holding grudges is a huge waste of energy. So, let go. You’ll be much happier when you’ve done so.

To live your best, happiest life, try nixing some of these habits. By addressing some of these happiness killers, we might all feel way more bubbly and pleasant.

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