Entertainment

The 'Pump Rules' Guys Are Gone Fishin'

by Kristie Rohwedder

Do you miss Vanderpump Rules? Do you wish the Pump Rules hiatus would just end already? Are you beyond ready for Season 5? Oof, I am in the same boat. Speaking of boats, did you see the Pump Rules fishing day? (Is it just me, or does it smell like ripe segue in here?) This week, Vanderpump Rules stars Tom Schwartz, Tom Sandoval, Jax Taylor, and Peter Madrigal packed up their tackle boxes and lines, drove to Venice Beach, and attempted to catch some fish. And on Thursday, the Toms Schwartz and Sandoval posted some vids of the Pump Rules angling adventure on Instagram. And I couldn't be more grateful. And yes, I have some questions.

Q number one: How many fish did the Pumpers nab? Take it away, Tom Schwartz’s Instagram poem:

0 fish, 1 nibble, 1 bump of the bizzle. Sky was dreary, coors lights kept appearing, in his vest rest a rubber that left us all sneering

Oh, well. They didn't bring home any fish, but they did bring home a lot of terrific memories. Fish or not, it sounds like the day was a fin, er, a win.

OK, now that that question is out of the way, here are a few followup Qs for the Insta vids:

  • Where were all of the fish?
  • Did the June Gloom scare the fish away?
  • Or did the Toms' jumping and scooting scare the fish away?
  • That's Schwartz hopping in the air with Sandoval, right?
  • Does Sandoval look amazing, or does Sandoval look amazing?
  • Did Sandoval highlight his hair?
  • Like, are those some Stacy London-esque white streaks I see?
  • Or is the June Gloom playing tricks on my eyes?[Embed]
  • Is that a dagger holster strapped to Sandoval’s leg?
  • Is Sandoval a serious fisherman?
  • Did Sandoval plan to fillet a fish right there on the pier or something?
  • Or did he just use that dagger to cut fishing line?
  • Where did Sandoval get those drop-crotch pants? (Because I want a pair, like, yesterday.)
  • How come they didn't take any group photos?
  • What did Jax wear?
  • What did Peter wear?
  • Did anyone roll up to the pier in a classic fishing hat?
  • Am I the only one dying to see everybody's fishing day ensembles?
  • Will this fishing excursion be on Pump Rules Season 5?!?!?!
  • Am I the only one dying to see this fishing excursion on Pump Rules Season 5?!?!?!?![Embed]

If I ever find out Jax was wearing a fishing hat but didn't take a pic, I will be so hurt.