12 Things That Happen When You Read "Too Much"

by Julia Seales

At first, people praised you for reading often. They called you "well read," asked you for book recommendations, and admired your bookshelf. They praised you because you love to unwind after a day's work with a great book. They laughed at your suggestion to "spend a nice evening at the bookstore," saying how hilarious you were. That you were such a joker. But like the villagers in Beauty and the Beast, they eventually turned on you when they realized that you were 100% serious.

"This book collection is out of control," they told you as they tripped over yet another pile of your TBR novels. "Stop recommending more books – I haven't finished the last list you gave me!" "How did you possibly read that many books in one weekend?"

And then they top it all off with the final sentence: "You read too much."

Obviously, these words will never be true. You can't read too much, right?? But maybe you're willing to admit that you read a lot. Perhaps... an obsessive amount. And maybe there are a few signs that your reading has gotten, what other people might call "out of control."

Of course, true readers know that once you go full Belle, you can never go back. So for everyone out there who wants nothing more than to spend hours in the Beast's awesome library, here are a few signs you might recognize if you read a bit, ahem, excessively.

1. You Find Books In Weird Places

You barely have any room in your double bed, because there are books taking up all the space. You find books in cupboards, by your sink, and stacked everywhere around your apartment. You never buy a purse unless it's big enough to fit a book inside, because otherwise, what's the point? Maybe it's time to KonMari your bookshelves.

2. You Can't Concentrate On Anything Until You Finish The Chapter (OK, The Whole Book)

When your friends text you to hang out, they'd better hope that you're in between books. Because otherwise, you're going to have to finish that chapter. Or maybe the whole book. You'll just have to be fashionably late... Hey, reading can be your pre-gaming, right?

3. You Buy Twice As Many Books As You Read

For some reason, there's a weird phenomenon when you read a ton: you still manage to buy more books than you read. Personally, I have an entire bookshelf full of books to read, and yet here I am with a tab open to my Amazon shopping cart. Oops. (I'm not sorry though...)

4. You Confuse Your Memories With Book Plots

Remember that one time that guy proposed to you and you rejected him, but then he wrote you this letter explaining everything, and you questioned your entire first impression of him? Wait, that might have been in a book...

5. You Miss Someone... And Then Realize They're Fictional

You've found yourself thinking wistfully of a childhood companion, only to remember that companion was actually fictional. Oh, well — at least you can always see them again between the pages of a book. (And it's OK to mourn fictional characters, too.)

6. When Your Friends Ask For Updates On Your Life, You Tell Them What You're Reading

You've been looking forward to catching up with your BFF over coffee, and she updates you on everything that's been going on in her life. When it's your turn to talk, though, all you can seem to tell her is what book you've just finished. And what book you're about to start. Oh, and did you hear what book is being turned into a movie? But it's fine, because you know your BFF loves you for it.

7. Workers At Your Local Library And Bookstore Know You By Name

I wish I could walk into a bookstore and say "the usual," and the worker would hand me a book perfectly selected for me. Can this be a thing?

8. You Have "Reader's Hair"

When I'm really into a book, I tend to run a hand through my hair anxiously. By the end of the book, my hair sticks up all over the place. This is "reader's hair," and if you read too much like me, it becomes your permanent hairstyle.

9. You Have Lots Of Papercuts

Sometimes you get papercuts from turning the pages too fast. And sometimes your thumb cramps up from pressing the "next page" button on your e-reader. These are the inconveniences of a true reader.

10. You Have Read A Book In One Sitting. Many Times.

When people say they've been reading the same book for several months, you're confused. Are they reading Infinite Jest? Because unless the book is over 1,000 pages, you probably finished it in one sitting.

11. If Anyone Asks If You've Read Something, The Answer Is Always "Yes"

That new bestseller everyone's raving about? Yes, you have read it. That classic your friend just finished and wants to discuss? It's your obsession. That up-and-coming YA novel that is about to become a movie? You read it before anyone else thought it was cool. NBD.

12. You Wish You Had Even More Time To Read

The more you read, the more you wish you could read. That's just what happens when you read a little bit too much — because the truth is, you can't ever actually read enough.

Image: Instagram/fictiontea (1)