7 Funny Things Women Do When They're Alone
No matter how many happy hours, fitness classes, late-night work sessions or press events I have each week, I always set aside an evening (or at the very least, a few hours) to have some alone time. We all live a very active, social life, hopefully surrounded by supportive and loving friends and family, but let’s face it: single, in a relationship or any other status, spending time by yourself is key to maintaining sanity.
And while television and movies would like us to believe that we’re sitting at home, reading a book with a hot cup of organic tea, the truth is — when we’re all by our lonesome, with no one around to judge us or talk to us… we do some pretty ridiculous sh*t. Or at least, that’s how it would appear if anyone actually saw us doing our secret behaviors.
From at-home facials to naked dance parties, you might be a tad embarrassed to confess the weird stuff that bring you great joy, but seriously, don’t be. I’ll be the first to admit that when I’m left to my own devices (without a roommate in sight) — I put on a green mud mask, pluck my chin hairs (thanks for those, mom), eat with my fingers and watch shows about dream homes, thinking about the house I’ll one day have with a husband I’ve yet to meet.
Is it a little ridiculous? Absolutely. Does it make me happy? Definitely. Here, seven women share their secret alone behaviors that they love:
1. I Eat Dinner Standing Over the Trash Can
“When [my husband] has to work late or is out of town, and I’m by myself in our apartment… I stand over our trash can and scarf down my dinner as fast as I can, so I can get onto the next thing. If he saw me, he’d be horrified but to me, I’d rather just get the process of eating over with so I can do something more fun.” -Anna
2. I Order Greasy Food And Hide The Evidence
“It’s not that my boyfriend and I eat healthy all of the time, per se, but sometimes, I get an appetite for something greasy and awful. So when he’s out of the apartment, I’ll order something really bad, eat the whole damn thing, and then take the takeout evidence outside, so no one will see it. Especially him! That way, it’s like it never happened.” -Renee
3. I Eat Ice Cream In Men’s Boxer Briefs
“As a wife and a mom of three (and one on the way!), there are very few times when I’m alone. But I tell you, when I am — it’s awesome. I put on a clean pair of my husband’s boxer briefs with a tank top, grab a big bowl of ice cream and I mindlessly [watch TV]. There, I said it.” -Bryce
4. I Clean While Binge Watching
“When I’m alone, I love to re-watch comedians I’ve seen a dozen times on Netflix, like Ali Wong, Gary Gulman and John Mulaney, all while cleaning out my into apartment and reorganizing everything.” -Amber
5. I Cook in My Underwear
“Maybe it’s not that insane or crazy, but when I have the place to myself, I see no reason to put on anything but underwear to cook myself dinner.” -Casey
6. I Never Put On Clothes
“Literally the moment I’m alone, I’m walking around fully, totally, completely, naked. I’ll be honest though, it’s not a secret — I tell everyone that I do it and that they should too. The best time to do it is after shower: air dry, people! Air dry!” -Hillary
7. I Play With My Cat
“I do a lot of really weird stuff when I'm alone. I have a cat named Simba and sometimes I hold him up in the air and sing ‘Circle of Life’ until he gets annoyed and squirms out of my hands. Also, if I catch myself in my full length mirror coming out of the bathroom, sometimes I'll stop and twerk it out for a second just to remind myself that I can.” -Jordan
8. I Twerk Like Nobody's Watching
“I strip down to a tank top and underwear, pour a glass of wine, light a good smelling candle, turn on some music and dance. Like, I'm talking twerking, creating new choreography, singing, the whole shebang. I dance so hard and so much that I sweat out my blowout. But, you can not tell me that I am not Beyonce while I'm dancing to Beyonce.” -Kristy
9. I Eat Peanut Butter And Dream
“It sounds simple, but I love to eat peanut butter in bed and read Town and Country while feeling sorry for myself that I'll never get to go to any of those places and lusting over the fab clothes.” -Gigi
10. I Practice Singing Karaoke To YouTube Songs Until 2 a.m.
“I’m a new mom and a wife, so my alone time is pretty minimal, along with my sleeping. But sometimes, the only thing that will bring me great joy is to pull up songs I love on YouTube and sing them over and over again, perfecting them… until like, 2 a.m.” -Nikki
11. I Pop Everything I See On My Face
“Kind of like Charlotte in Sex & the City, I am obsessed with popping my face — every blackhead and pore, even if there's nothing there. I go at it to the point where literally nothing will ooze out no matter how hard a try. Thus, this leaves me with a ridiculously red face which I hide from all other humans — especially my fiance whom I live with — until the next morning when I look like I just got a facial.” -Jackie
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