Can You Really Hatch "Pokemon Go" Eggs With Sex Toys?

We're all trying to figure out how to hatch "Pokemon Go" eggs, but rather than some good old-fashioned walking or even running, we're trying to find a great shortcut. Whether that's tying your phone to your your dog, boyfriend, or baby the Internet is full of Pokemon cheats. Apparently, people are trying to hatch "Pokemon Go" eggs with their vibrators. Really. I mean, to me it seems as soon as I got out my vibrator out of the top drawer I'd be distracted by a whole lot better things to do with it. But I guess there are people out there who are very, very dedicated to the "Pokemon Go" cause.

But does it work? If you can somehow attach a phone to a vibrator and then let it do its business, can it actually hatch your eggs? It's definitely the most fun "Pokemon Go"cheat I've ever heard of — and who better than Tom Nardone, the man behind Vibrators.com to test the theory?

Luckily that's exactly what he decided to do. Not only did he try with it a vibrator, he tried with a few different vibrator options, for your pleasure — and the eggs, I guess.

Check out if it worked below before wasting your batteries:

Traditional Vibrator, The Romance

Please look at the creative use of blue tape. I mean, I still don't see why you would be using your vibrator for this, but I'm really trying to get on board.

Gyrator— Hard And Slow

The second option is a gyrator, which vibrates slower and harder, according to Tom. Am I the only one not really thinking about "Pokemon Go" anymore?

And The Stroker

Finally, my favorite — the stroker. Not because it's my favorite vibrator, but because I love that it's a vibrator dangling from a cord looking ridiculous with a phone strapped to it.

He Starts Them All And Leaves Them For An Hour...

Giphy

The results? Sorry, "Pokemon Go"-ers, the vibrators only moved .2 kilometer, .1 kilometer, and hardly anything, respectfully.

Nardone from Vibrators.com said he would love to find a reason to sell you a vibrator, but this isn't one of them. And think, that was an hour you could have been masturbating. A whole hour you could have been masturbating. And all that battery life wasted. Walk your eggs, "Pokemon Go" lovers, and keep your vibrator for the good stuff.

Images: Pokemon Go; Tom Nardone/Facebook; Giphy