Evan's Fate On 'BIP' Is Not-So-Scary

Poor Evan. First, The Bachelorette introduces him as an erectile dysfunction specialist (which is a noble job, but who among us still doesn't laugh at penis jokes?). Then, Chad rips his shirt after an altercation. Now, Evan is on Bachelor In Paradise with Chad, making it not quite paradise for Evan. Probably more like hell. To add insult to all of these injuries, previews for the season of Bachelor In Paradise show Evan being taken away on a stretcher? Why is Evan going to the hospital on Bachelor In Paradise? Did he finally get the beatdown that Chad promised him?OK, before I blame Chad (and normally I would blame Chad, given his behavior toward, um, everyone), the Bachelor producers are the kings and queens of the red herring promotion. I'm sure that Evan is taken away, but I'm more willing to bet that it's dehydration related (he could have fallen and hit his head) than that Chad coldcocked him before he left. Not only would we as viewers have heard about violence on the show before it aired (probably), but dehydration is more common on the show. Ashley S. was hospitalized last season for the same thing. It's hot in Mexico in July! The explanation is probably far less insidious (and therefore less interesting) than we think.Evan really needs a win in Paradise, though. He's been the light butt of the joke since he was cast — he didn't have the air of stupid machismo that JoJo's other suitors had, and so he was overlooked. He also works on the male sex organ for a living. Come on. I really hope Evan meets his match in Paradise to prove that nice guys don't finish last — they save sex lives, raise lovely children (Evan is a dad), and get a lovely girl to marry, too.

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