Crazy Sex Myths We Believed Throughout History — VIDEO

Before my first sex education class in middle school, I would accept any tidbit I overheard on the school bus about “how babies were made” as true. There are some pretty crazy sex myths we used to believe as children, but historically it seems our ancestors were even more confused about the reproductive process than my gullible ten-year-old self — and I thought women gave birth through their belly buttons!

A new video by BuzzFeed Blue takes on all the weird wrong-headed sex myths that have plagued us throughout history. It seems while even the greatest scientists and philosophers were getting jiggy with it, they couldn't wrap their minds around this intimate biological process. The facepalm-worthy beliefs that the video highlights are from as recent as 2012 and stretch all the way back The Stone Age. They are far more confusing than your average “you can’t get pregnant while in a hot tub” lie you probably heard as a teenager. In fact, these myths are so strange my middle school self couldn't dream them up. Phantom pregnancies are the work of demons? Masturbation will make you flat-chested? Come on, people.

Here are some sex myths that people actually used to believe (you know... until science):

1. Sneezing Will Prevent Pregnancy

Greek physician Soronus (also spelled "Soranus") advised women that instead of wearing amulets to ward off unwanted pregnancies, sneezing, squatting, and jumping up and down was the only full proof contraceptive. This he believed these actions would shake the sperm free, and to be extra careful, he recommended rinsing out the vagina afterwards. So there you have it — in ancient Greece all you needed to do to stay baby-free was sniff a little pepper and take a bath. For your health!

2. Bicycles Caused Infertility In Women

In the late 1800s bicycles were not viewed kindly. Women were warned off riding them as it was believed that they could cause infertility, as well as the dreaded orgasms. BuzzFeed points out that bicycles also would have given women a pesky amount of freedom — so this belief probably wasn't based off of any real scientific findings.

3. Tiny Humans Lived Inside Sperm

Scientists Johan Ham and Anton Van Leeuwenhoek are considered to be among the first microbiologists. They discovered Spermatozoa in 1677 after viewing it under a microscope, and developed a theory that complete humans lived inside the sperm and that women were not needed for conception. Typical males. Taking all the credit.

4. The Spirits Of Babies Lived Inside Fruit

Um. Wow. That kinda ruins my appetite.

For plenty more crazy sex myths check out the full video here:

BuzzFeedBlue on YouTube

At least the modern vibrator came out of all this nonsense!

Images: BuzzFeedBlue/YouTube