Being a part of Bachelor Nation is like being a part of a great big family. You may hate the players and the game sometimes, but if anyone outside of the realm decides to speak ill of The Bachelor and anything related to it, well — they’re in for a fight. The Bachelor has had 20 seasons of hijinks and heartbreak, and many of us have literally grown up with the show. Do you remember a time when The Bachelor or any of its spinoffs weren't on the air? Yeah, me neither. That’s why there are things that Bachelor Nation just knows that people on the outside don’t.
The Bachelor and The Bachelorette have sure come a long way from their inceptions. Alex Michel and Trista Sutter are a far cry from Ben Higgins and JoJo Fletcher. But as a show evolves, so does its mythology, its fans, and its many inside jokes. The Bachelor and its spinoffs have a whole lexicon that is unknown to people who don’t watch — isn’t that cool? As a Bachelor Nation superfan myself, I got to thinking about all of the inside jokes and important moments we’ve had with the shows over the years. Here are some things that Bachelor Nation fans know that the rest of the world just doesn’t understand.
1. Sean Lowe Has The Best Twitter Of Any Former Bachelor Star
You can argue that Chad Johnson or JJ Lane or even Kaitlyn Bristowe have the best Twitter accounts of Bachelor/ette alum, but Sean Lowe, a former Bachelor himself, is truly the best. I don’t know if because his marriage from the show actually worked and he has a different perspective, but his snark on the new contestants and the mistakes they make is hilarious.
2. Nothing Is As Dramatic As Chris Harrison Makes It Seem
The most dramatic finale ever? I mean, I guess, Chris. We’ve all been lied to before, and somehow, we keep coming back for more.
3. You’re No One Unless You Endorse Hair Vitamins
Damn, those hair vitamins are all over the Instagrams of former Bachelor and Bachelorette stars. Brands are clearly paying a high price for just one Instagram post from these people, and I have to admit that I would do it, too... if someone would pay me.
4. There’s Nothing Longer Than A Bachelor/ette Finale
Seriously, we need three hours to hash out who someone wants to marry, especially when it’s usually obvious from the beginning who he or she will choose?
5. The First Night Takes Forever, But Not For The Audience
The limousine arrivals can take hours to shoot, as evidenced by the sky sometimes looking light when contestants eliminated on the first night leave. Can you imagine waiting that long? That's probably why so many people get tanked and fall into the pool on night one.
6. Sometimes, You Say The Wrong Name
Remember when Jesse Palmer chose the wrong girl at his rose ceremony? Or when Jason Mesnick picked the wrong woman to marry and backtracked? Hey, we all make mistakes.
7. There’s At Least One Tricky Promo A Season
Remember when Leah Block had a black eye in a preview for Ben Higgins’ season of The Bachelor and it was never explained? Or how there’s always b-roll of an ambulance, even if we never actually see anyone gets taken away to the hospital? There are so many bait-and-switch promos on The Bachelor and especially Bachelor In Paradise that its hard to keep track.
8. You Can Always Talk To The Animals
Speaking of Bachelor in Paradise, you may as well talk to the crabs, iguanas, and raccoons if you’re there in Mexico. Why? Because the producers are going to cut it to look like you are, anyway. Embrace your inner Doctor Doolittle.
9. There Are Strange Destinations & Repeated Dates
At the beginning of the show, the characters were all whisked away to exotic locales and treated to amazing dates. That all started to change around Chris Soules’ season of The Bachelor, when the group spent more time in Iowa, Chris’ home state, than they did anywhere else. No offense to Iowans here — it’s pretty, but it’s not like being transported to Thailand. And don’t get me started on the weird dates — if I have to see one more tantric yoga session, I’ll scream.
10. Last Minute Changes Are Possible
Remember how Caila Quinn was rumored to be the next Bachelorette and they brought in JoJo Fletcher instead? Or how it seemed like Luke Pell would be the next Bachelor, but Nick Viall was named? Reality Steve is the only one I trust at this point — he may be wrong on occasion, but he doesn't lie to me! My heart can't take it!
11. The Bachelor Doesn't Pay For The Ring
What Bachelor could afford to buy a $75,000 ring for a woman they met like six weeks prior? Would you spend that much money on a Ring Pop-sized diamond for someone you don't know? I doubt it. Hollywood.com claims that there are allegedly rules about this in the contestants' contracts that explain that if the couple stays together for a certain amount of time they get to keep the Neil Lane ring. When asked about this by Bustle, ABC had no comment.
12. So Much Food Goes Uneaten
Contestants are rarely shown eating on The Bachelor or The Bachelorette. There are beautiful plates of food out on each date, but the contestants don't consume it. According to Sean Lowe, this is because chewing noises are not cute when heard through their microphones. He said contestants eat before the date and ignore the food during. That's why Chad chomping on turkey was so noteworthy (and hilarious).
13. The Flameouts Are The Best Part Of The Goodbyes
Who wants to watch a just-sent-home contestant go gently into that good night? Not me. I want screaming, yelling, ring throwing, and tears, and I know you do, too. Even better if it's a Bachelor or Bachelorette audition speech.
14. There Are Too Many Hot Tubs
Are hot tubs even sexy? I never thought so. You stink like chlorine afterward, and you're just sweating and itchy after. The Bachelor loves a good hot tub, so much so that they made JoJo and Luke go in a wood-fired one that was way, way too hot on her season of The Bachelorette. I think we're running out of ideas here.
I think Bachelor Nation is just better equipped to deal with heartbreak than the rest of the world, don’t you? We just know things that others don’t.
Images: Rick Rowell/ABC; Giphy (12)