Something creepy is headed our way, but what exactly this creepiness consists of is a total mystery. The Season 6 premiere of American Horror Story is only a month away, and fans are still in the dark about what the show's subtitle could be. It now seems that FX's anthology series wants to do more than merely keep the season's theme under wraps: it also wants fans to go crazy trying to figure it out. According to FX CEO John Landgraf at the Television Critic's Association press tour, the new American Horror Story teasers don't all connect to this season's theme. Says Landgraf: "[The AHS marketing team] went out and made many more trailers than you’ve actually seen for hypothetical seasons of American Horror Story. One of them is accurate." Hmm... it seems the biggest mystery of Season 6 might start before its premiere on Sept. 14 — but that doesn't mean we can't theorize as to what this theme could be.
So far, FX has released 11 cryptic teasers for the new season of American Horror Story. Though all will make your skin crawl (the one that features a staple gun is definitely not for the faint of heart) they are all wildly different from one another — which means that, technically, they could all represent different themes. So what theme could each of these teasers represent? Though only one will be right, it's worth analyzing all of these scary visuals:
1. American Horror Story: Castle
We had American Horror Story: Murder House, so why not have something at another iconic home? Though castles might not scream American, there are actually quite a lot of castles that could be used as the setting for this potential season. Check out this list of 10 allegedly haunted American castles that American Horror Story could use as inspiration.
2. American Horror Story: Hospital
This theme sounds a little too similar to second season's Asylum, but the nurse in this teaser is a clue that the upcoming season could be set in a hospital of horrors. Also, it's worth noting that this virtual reality teaser from Comic-Con featured a character on a gurney — could that be a clue that someone is paging the doctor in Season 6?
3. American Horror Story: Monsters
This chilling teaser features a monster (or, perhaps, alien?) walking towards the camera on a set of train tracks. The teaser is titled "The Mist," which could be in reference to the Stephen King story of the same name. The King story is about people who hide in a supermarket after otherworldly monsters take over the town, so perhaps a monster invasion could be the theme of the new season.
4. American Horror Story: Zombie Apocalypse
One of the simplest teasers the FX show has released features a woman running down the stairs while bloodied hands attempt to grab her ankles. Though there's no way to see what's beneath those stairs, a hoard of zombies closing in on the woman would make a lot of sense, considering American Horror Story's love of creatures just this side of inhuman.
5. American Horror Story: Cult
Though a Rosemary's Baby theme would make just as much sense here, eagle-eyed fans noticed that the mobile above the monstrous baby's head can be interpreted to spell the word "PIG," the very same word that was written at the Sharon Tate crime scene. American Horror Story could take on the Manson family as their theme for Season 6, or even just "borrow" from it by including a similar, fictionalized cult.
6. American Horror Story: Prison
Perhaps the most unsettling of all the promos, this teaser features a man getting his head stapled in the shape of Season 6's question mark symbol. Though this could also be set at the worst hospital ever, the fact that this man is on a concrete floor getting not-so-stellar treatment suggests he could be a prisoner.
7. American Horror Story: Invasion
Hmm... what's with those glowing eyes?! The shadowy figures walking towards the camera are certainly giving off alien vibes.
8. American Horror Story: Chainsaw Massacre
The house in the middle of the cornfield looks pleasant enough, if you ignore the black smoke stack of doom and the sound of a screaming woman running from a chainsaw. Could American Horror Story borrow from one of the scariest films of all time, and pull a Texas Chainsaw Massacre? Though Leatherface likely couldn't make a literal appearance, perhaps an FX version of the iconic slasher could. We know that AHS loves creating serial killer mythology from Bloody Face.
9. American Horror Story: Lady Gaga Is Back
I'm at a loss for what this theme could be, but the blonde woman in the teaser certainly looks like Lady Gaga, who has already confirmed she'll be back for the next installment of American Horror Story.
10. American Horror Story: Creature Feature
American Horror Story is never without camp, but this overtly silly teaser doesn't seem very in-line with their creepy aesthetic. Should this be the accurate promo, I wouldn't be surprised if the show went waaay meta with the theme and set it on a Hollywood soundstage making the next great monster movie.
11. American Horror Story: Abduction
The fact that aliens seemingly make an appearance not once but twice on this list is seriously confusing. If only one of these trailers is accurate, does that automatically rule out aliens as the theme? Or does it make it more likely that the series will go the extraterrestrial route? Either way, should this be the accurate theme, it seems clear that aliens are at play here, and the setting of the campsite might be a big clue. Check out this photo of Area 51, where the government has long been rumored to keep secret information about aliens. Doesn't it look like the place where the camper was plucked into the sky?
Only time will tell what theme we can expect from Season 6 of American Horror Story, but no matter what promo is accurate, it's clear it's going to be very creepy.
Image: FX Networks/YouTube