The Best Way To Start Your Day With Your Partner, According To Experts
Coffee brewing, sun streaming through the windows, a beautiful day ahead, bae by your side — the perfect start to the perfect day. On that note, though: What is the best way to start your day with your partner? If you have the same schedule and you can get up together every day, what should you do together on a daily basis to make your day together wonderful? Or if you have different schedules, what should you do and how should you handle that? What are the most important things to say and do with each other every morning to be sure that you're kicking off your best day, living your best life?
I spoke with relationship experts about their thoughts on this topic, and they all had really creative and innovative ideas. Though you won't be able to take all 11 suggestions — unless you have about three hours to kill every morning — you can pick and choose the things that sound best for your particular lifestyle, and go from there. They all sound fun, loving, really smart, and super dreamy. Here are the things you should consider in terms of how best to start your day with a romantic partner.
1. Snuggle In Bed And Do Some Casual Kegels
"Get up a little earlier so that you are not rushed," Carlyle Jansen, author of Sex Yourself , tells Bustle. "Take 10 to 15 mins to either shower together, snuggle while spooning and the person behind runs their fingers through the other's hair, or even just breathing together in sync while doing your Kegels." LOL — very specific!
No matter what you do, find a pattern you can embrace daily. "Choose a ritual, or several, and alternate them," Jansen advises. "It will soon be something to look forward to that makes it easier to wake up for." We all need that.
"Kiss before you leave for the day," life coach Kali Rogers tells Bustle. "Always." No matter what, be sure to take a minute to embrace. "Some people aren't morning people and that's totally fine," Rogers adds. "Just have one romantic interaction to start your day." It'll make the day sweeter all the way through.
3. Do A Catch-Up
"I like to start the morning with the couple telling each other something they appreciate about each other, and just doing a brief daily catch-up that has nothing to do with the state of affairs — off schedules, bills, kids, plans," psychologist Nicole Martinez, who is the author of eight books, including The Reality of Relationships , tells Bustle. "I think it is a great way to start the day, to remain in each other's minds throughout the day in a positive way, and to really know that you make that emotional connection a priority." You'll remain up-to-date on your partner's life, and they'll do the same. "Cuddling while having the talk is of course encouraged," she adds. Bonus points for snuggles!
"A great morning routine is one that, no mater what that couple is experiencing, still happens regularly," Tiya Cunningham-Sumter, certified life and love coach and author of A Conversation Piece , tells Bustle. "There should be some type of communication, whether verbal or physical." Be sure to exchange with your partner in the a.m. — don't just say hey and move on with your life.
"A warm good morning, asking how your partner slept, or giving a morning embrace makes your partner feel loved," Cunningham-Sumter says. "A kiss as you part ways for the day should also be part of your daily routine."
5. Say 'I Love You'
"The best way to start your day with your partner is to always kiss goodbye and say 'I love you' before you leave for the day," Boston-based clinical psychologist Bobbi Wegner tells Bustle. "It begins the day with love and connection with a simple act." Just those three words are enough sometimes — just don't forget to say them.
6. Have A Coffee
"Have your first coffee — or juice — of the day together," New York–based relationship expert and author April Masini tells Bustle. "Even if it’s standing next to the sink, bachelor-style, enjoying that first cup together is a way to bond and reboot your relationship for the day ahead." If you have extra time, brew it for bae.
"If you want to sweeten the moment, make that coffee and bring it to your partner — or make some steamed milk to make the coffee special," she says. "This little kindness kick-starts the day in a positive way, and while you’re apart, the idea that the two of you are bonded, if only over a morning coffee, and are kind to each other, lingers." Mmm. Just like the yummy coffee flavor.
7. Be Positive
"Our romantic relationship reflects our feelings about ourselves," personal and professional coach Karen Garvey tells Bustle. "The greatest mutually beneficial relationships emerge between two people who love themselves as a platform for loving each other." So start things off with some positivity.
"An awesome morning routine with your partner begins by honoring what renews you," Garvey says. "For example, if starting your day by saying, 'it's going to be a great day — I can just feel it!' creates a great day, then a similar beginning with your partner can create unity. Try saying, 'It's going to be a great day. Can you feel it?' Hold hands and squeeze. You'll both get the same rush at the same time."
8. Have Sex
"Start setting the alarm a bit earlier and cuddle and caress each other and make love," relationship coach and psychic medium Cindi Sansone-Braff, author of Why Good People Can't Leave Bad Relationships , tells Bustle. "It starts the day on a high note, and reinforces to the two of you that your relationship is the most important thing in your lives." Indeed, agrees dating expert Noah Van Hochman, who tells Bustle, "The easy answer to this [question] is sex, sex and more sex!" If you go this route, you'll feel energized all day, he says. "Start your day off with endorphins surging through your body and an all-is-great-with-the-universe attitude."
That said, Van Hochman adds that it doesn't always work like that. "For 90 percent of the population, starting your day in this manner will more than likely make you want to crawl back under the covers and bask in a warm and fuzzy after glow," he says. Not great if you have somewhere to be — like, for example, work. "A morning routine with your partner should make you want to tackle the day and be as productive as you can. Collaborate in creating a great breakfast, maybe do a few household chores together and prepare yourself for the day in anticipation of being together again that evening."
9. Have A Check-In
"Start the day refreshed and with a positive outlook for the day ahead," online dating expert Anita Covic tells Bustle. "Whether you wake up together or you call each other on the phone or arrange a video call, be sure to share the outlook for the day ahead so that your partner knows your availability to talk, understands if you are under stress at the office, or if you’ll be running around all day long." In other words, just say whatever's on your mind. "By communicating effectively at the start of the day, you are sure to have an open line of communication to continue your day and keep the connection with your partner strong throughout." Yes to that.
10. Tell Each Other About Your Dreams
"Our morning routine starts with touch," Rob Alex, who created Sexy Challenges and Mission Date Night with his wife, tells Bustle. "I wake up about two hours earlier than Janelle, my amazing and beautiful wife; however, before I leave the bed, I spend some time touching her and rubbing her back. That connection of skin on skin in the morning is vital for both of us. It is a way for me to tell her I love her without having to say any words and it allows me to absorb some of her energy as I get up to work out in the mornings."
So you can get up and work out or do what you need to do without your partner, but still take some time together. "When she gets up, we start each morning with a hug and a kiss, and some conversation," Alex says. "I think the conversation is the part that most people skip on in their morning routines. That conversation can be how did you sleep, or did you have any dreams." Whatever it is, be sure to have a convo. "We have had some wonderful conversations about dreams as part of our morning routine," he says. Ask your partner about their dreams — and see what they say!
11. Talk About What You're Anticipating
"Share with your partner something you are each looking forward to that day," dating coach and licensed marriage and family therapist Pella Weisman tells Bustle. "This gives you a window into their day and puts you both into a positive frame of mind." Awesome, awesome, awesome. Even if you have something you have to do that day that you don't want to do, there's always something fun to look forward to.
"Remember to check in with them at the end of the day to find out how it went," she says. And then you can both compare notes.
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