As much as dating can be fun, it can be scary, too. Even if you’re the smoothest cat on the block, first date jitters are a real thing. I mean, it’s not easy to try to sell yourself to a stranger. In fact, first dates can feel just as difficult as a job interview, as you list out all the reasons you’d be a good fit for your date (I’m really witty!), your exemplary assets (I can write a song about you!), and what you could bring to a possible relationship (I’m really good at communicating!). And that’s just if you’re interested; if you’re not, then it’s even trickier (How the hell am I going to get out of here? Fake food poisoning although we both ordered the same thing?).
Basically, first dates can be awkward AF, but they’re also a must that can’t be avoided if you’re looking for love. So how does one handle having a first date that doesn’t end in a horror story? Well, you learn what works, what doesn’t, and where to find the necessary confidence to make that first date a breeze — or at least as breezy as a first date can be.
Thomas Edwards, founder of The Professional Wingman, has a great confidence hack for when you're talking to someone new: “Assume everyone loves you,” Edwards tells Bustle. Basically, treat them like they're someone you already know to erase those nerves.
Not sure where to find the confidence for your next first
date? No worries; it might be easier than you think.
1. Anne, 30
"Always be 10 percent detached from him/her and the whole thing, and you will always hold the power."
2. Sarah, 36
"Red lipstick. I usually keep my lips neutral, sticking to glosses and Chapstick, but when I put on red lipstick I become the most confident woman in the room. I also wear it to important business meetings for that reason, too."
3. Nicole, 28
"Always leave something to be desired."
4. Tanya, 36
"Getting to a point where you are happy being single makes dating so much less stressful. If it works out, that's great. If it doesn't, that's fine, too."
5. Becky, 31
"I like to make the first date fairly casual so there's less pressure on everybody. Wearing a 'good' bra is also an easy confidence booster (for me personally). And not being too invested in the outcome, deciding you're just there to meet a new person, and see what happens."
6. Cate, 26
"Act like you DGAF. Or give zero f*cks; whichever one. Be in denial about your actual feelings if you have actual feelings for them."
7. Iva, 35
"Making sure (if you like the person at all and want a second date) to flash just one or two bewitching smiles that might be bemused smirks..."
8. Jenn, 29
“Sext with someone else beforehand. It will give your ego one hell of a boost.”
9. Lauren, 33
"I’ve never tried it, but I have a couple friends who masturbate before a first date. It’s a good way to relax and get rid of those pre-date jitters. It also makes you feel sexy, while giving you a really nice post-orgasm glow."
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