The 14 Funniest Quotes From ‘Bachelor In Paradise’ Season 3
I love the drama that all Bachelor franchise shows bring, but I think Bachelor in Paradise might be my favorite — especially after this season. Not only is it the most dramatic show Chris Harrison hosts, but it's also the funniest. Thanks to the always flowing alcohol, being stranded at the beach, and so many people living in a pressure cooker where they're all trying to fall in love, a sense of humor is kind of required to survive it all. And so far, there have been so many hilarious things said on Bachelor in Paradise Season 3.
It's not surprising, though, since the producers did manage to put together a pretty good cast. Between Daniel the Canadian's words of wisdom, Ashley Iaconetti's self deprecating remarks, and Nick Viall's sarcastic commentary, this season has basically been comedy gold. And who can forget all the gems Chad Johnson dropped on us before he got kicked off the show? Some of the things he said were totally out of line, but some were simply funny as hell.
Here are all of the funniest quotes that Bachelor in Paradise Season 3 has brought us. Some were intentional, some were not, but all are just more reasons to love this ridiculous show.
1. When Chad Described Daniel's Behavior
"You're being so un-murdery."
Yeah, but I think it's better if we're all un-murdery for the most part, right?
2. Chad's Rant At Chris Harrison
"You went to sleep last night with a mimosa and a robe on. You don't even watch the show."
I've never heard a better description of what Chris Harrison's job probably is... even if Chad was rude about it. Although honestly, hanging out with a mimosa and a robe sounds like the ideal way to go to bed.
3. Daniel On What He Deserves In Life
"I have very high standards. An eagle doesn't settle for a pigeon, right? An eagle settles for an eagle. I don't know what's better than an eagle, like a pterodactyl or something?"
Unfortunately, that eagle did not happen to be in paradise this summer.
4. Daniel's Relationship Advice To Ashley I.
"F*ck ten guys in a month… there’s a good chance you might like a lot of them."
I mean, it's not terrible advice. But also not the best.
5. Carly On Evan (Before Her Change Of Heart)
"Evan does give me erectile dysfunction."
Hilarious and insulting all at once.
6. Chad On The Word "Glib"
"This is not the time to be glib. I don’t know what that means but it’s not the time."
I'm pretty much just surprised that Chad would admit he didn't know what a word meant.
7. Carly On Evan Post-Change of Heart
"How did I fall in love with the penis man?"
I'm asking myself that question, too, but at least they seem happy together.
8. Jared Reacting To Carly & Evan's First Date
"You guys went on a date and you threw up. I don't think it's gonna work out."
Vomiting is usually not the best indicator of a relationship's success, no. But it seems like Carly and Evan beat the odds anyway.
9. Emily On The Paradise Experience
"I've got really, really big boobs, a nice butt, and this isn't my first rodeo."
There's a Tinder bio if I've ever heard one.
10. Jubilee On Her Date With Jared
"I've been to war and back and I can't handle a little clown."
To be honest, the clown sneaking up on them was really scary.
11. Jorge On Jami Taking Wells On A Date
"She got up early. Got the worm."
I think we can all agree that the wisest person on this show is Jorge the bartender.
12. Shushanna Summing Up This Entire Franchise
"I'm an adult. I don't want this."
The one thing you know everyone is thinking but just won't say.
13. Carly Stating The Obvious About Ashley
"I think we're all like, why aren't you crying?"
There were plenty of tears from Ashley this season, but not quite as many as I expected. And when she wasn't worried about Wells, it was actually kind of funny and amazing at the same time.
14. Daniel's Best Love Advice
"You gotta be a big dog like me?"
I don't know if there's ever been anyone in the Bachelor franchise who's been so simultaneously self confident and not at all self aware.
Bachelor in Paradise, never change. I will miss this show all year long, but there's always summer. Maybe next season will be even funnier than this one...
Images: Giphy (14)