'Need for Speed's Aaron Paul vs. All the Other Aarons and Pauls: Who Wins?
Need for Speed opens Friday, March 14 and it's being dubbed by critics as "so bad it's good." The trailers giving me nothing more than "Aaron Paul is in this and there are many, many fast cars," so really, I'm apt to believe the reviews. Sure, the Breaking Bad star is super bankable, but y'know, movies do need a little more than a major leading actor to make it work. But hey, I'll probably see it because Aaron Paul did his own stunts, and who knows, maybe there's a Bryan Cranston cameo. Maybe he's wearing a mask in the background of one scene. It's possible! In my heart of hearts I have to at least pretend that these two have to be in every movie or TV show together FOREVER.
Critically, Need for Speed might be a lovable flop, but we’ve still got to wait on box office numbers before making any proclamations about the film’s fate. Regardless of how Need for Speed fares, Aaron Paul has little to worry about. He’s co-starring with Christian Bale in the upcoming Exodus as Joshua to Bale’s Moses... yeah, that’s going to be big.
Since Aaron Paul is basically the one thing Need for Speed really has going for it (plot? Meh! Who needs it!), we decided to make the Ultimate Aaron Paul bracket: facing him off against other famous Aarons and other famous Pauls because FRIDAY.
Teen Dreams: Aaron Paul Vs. Aaron Carter
Winner: Do we even need to debate this? Sorry Carter, this is totally Aaron (Paul)'s Party! Gotta have my pops, bitch!
Anti-Heroes/ Villains?: Aaron Paul vs. Aaron Eckhart
Winner: Aaron Paul! Yeah, I kinda totally forgot about other "villains" whose faces were gruesomely half burned off after the way Gus strolled out of that nursing home in Breaking Bad. As great as the Dark Knight series was, Jesse Pinkman is far more memorable than Eckhart's Two Face.
Heavy Sh*t, Man: Aaron Paul vs. Darren Aronofsky
Winner: Let's talk this one out, shall we? Aronofsky's repetoire consists of films like Black Swan, The Wrestler and Requiem for a Dream, which are all super heavy and dark in their own right. Aaron Paul, whose claim to fame was playing Jesse Pinkman on the game-changing drama Breaking Bad.The audience was rooting for Jesse so deeply by the end because he weathered such a nasty storm. So many deaths, so much meth, and so much loss ...that final shot of him fleeing was such sweet, sweet ecstasy. Even though Paul's roster has a few more action flicks and brighter indie films...I'm still going for Jesse because...JESSE!
Humanitarians: Aaron Paul Vs. Paul Newman
Winner: Everyone! Because when the great Pauls of the world use their fame for charity and outreach, we're all the better for it. Newman's greatest legacy, perhaps far more than his stunning acting career, was his work as a humanitarian. The Newman's Own brand gives away all of it's profits to charities around the world with a core focus on philanthropy, children's wellbeing, empowerment and nutrition. And in the mass hysteria that was the end of Breaking Bad, Aaron Paul used the moment as an opportunity to raise awareness for his wife's anti-bullying charity The Kind Campaign. He raised nearly $2 million by having fans donate and in return were given a chance to win a trip for an exclusive finale viewing party with the man himself.
Captains of the SS Dream Boat: Aaron Paul vs. Paul Rudd
Winner: Paul Rudd! Let's start with the fact that the above bedroom eyes of Mr. Aaron Paul was used to SELL METH to a hapless teenaged cashier. Also, Rudd has been in the dream boat game a little longer and he's really got the whole thing down...and just keeps getting better with age. He's the George Clooney of comedy. Don't worry Aaron, you're plenty dreamy. Now do a film with Paul Rudd so the world can collapse in on itself in a flashing burst of puppies and 5 o'clock shadows.
The Bromantic Types: Aaron Paul vs. Paul McCartney
Winner: A tie! C'mon this is apples and oranges. Both so perfect in their own essence. You simply cannot compare one to the other. Too many layers. Too much history. I cannot make that call, I don't have that kind of power.
Congrats Aaron Paul! You are both the greatest of the Aarons and the greatest of the Pauls. You are the greatest Aaron Paul that has ever lived!