Kanye's Wedding Performance Is a Bad Idea

Tradition holds that every bride should receive something old, something blue and something new on her wedding day. According to the latest Kimye wedding update, Yeezus reportedly has the "new" part covered: Kanye West has plans to perform a new song at the couple's upcoming Parisian ceremony. Generally, a new Yeezy song isn't met with trepidation, but something about the idea of him performing during his wedding has us a little unnerved.

For example, is anyone concerned about him spazzing out mid-performance and going off on an unrecoverable tangent? On second thought, considering the fact that Kris Jenner is said to be assisting West with the planning of this performance, an explosive, emotion-filled outburst by West would be right up her publicity-hungry alley.

Speaking of Jenner's involvement, as much as it absolutely pangs me to type this, it bodes well for the marriage. After all, no groom wants a Monster-in-Law who interjects herself into every facet of his and his wife's relationship--- oh, wait. Still it's a good sign that they can collaborate on family and music, but by default my ears are prepared to reject any musical performance that Jenner has a hand in, and though they dare not say it, I'm sure a few of Kimye's wedding guests would agree.

As much as Kardashian and Jenner are basking in the light that comes with marrying hip hop royalty, I seriously doubt that perk is enough to decrease Kardashian's desire for individual attention. In her mind, the performance would detract away from everyone fawning over the bride. This will surely spark a backstage meltdown that would go something like, "Mom, I know the song was about meeee, and he performed it for meee, but why he would perform on MY day?!?!" Cue inaudible blubber followed by an emotional breakdown complete with mascara streaks and near-hyperventilation.

Maybe it's pessimistic to expect West's performance to go like one of those inappropriate wedding toasts that only serve to make all the guests uncomfortable. But if footage of a wedding day rant doesn't surface before all the guests vacate the premises, we will truly be shocked.