7 Polyamorous People On Overcoming Jealousy

As a monogamous person, I'll admit that I'm pretty terrible at dealing with jealousy. Even though I've never been cheated on, I've gotten jealous of partners' exes and even their platonic friends. I couldn't imagine having to deal with the actual possibility of a partner hooking up with someone else. Yet poly couples experience this in relationships, so they must be onto something.

In case you're unfamiliar, polyamory is the practice of having a romantic or sexual relationship with more than one person with all parties' consent. Some poly people may have primary partners they're in relationships with and then see other people as well. Some may have many equally important partners at once. What they all have in common is that they haven't committed themselves to just one person, and everyone is cool with that.

Being polyamorous often requires resisting the desire to limit your partners' involvement with others, but that doesn't mean poly people don't feel jealous. It just means they're willing to talk about it honestly and manage it.

I asked poly people how they deal with jealousy and what advice they might offer others, both polyamorous and monogamous, on dealing with it themselves.

1. Steve Dean, 27, CEO Of Dateworking

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2. Nicollette 25, And Jon, 30

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3. Kitty, 32

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4. Jerrod, 28

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5. Cerridwen, 63

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Be willing to do therapy and counseling at either partner's request. Handle any difficult feelings right away. Clear, direct communication will dispel false fears or show a crack in the relationship which needs to be addressed. Be ready to pull the wagons into a circle and move back into monogamy, single-focus if your primary relationship has issues arise. It also only works if both parties truly want it. If one is 'persuading' the other, the relationship won't survive that power imbalance. For any relationship to be successful, it takes an immense willingness to look at and work through your own stuff.

Monogamy is no less tricky to manage. Think: let's say you are a great cook and your partner adores your cooking. Then, one evening, s/he goes to a friend's house and has a great meal. Are you threatened? Doesn't have to be a big deal — that is just a cultural belief.

6. Alex*, 62

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7. Anna* 36

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Images: Fotolia; Giphy(6)