Kissing someone is one of the simplest forms of showing affection or arousal. And yet it can also be difficult to tell if you're actually good at it. We know that in order to have good sex, we should communicate what we like and don't like to our sexual partner, but we tend to forget to talk about the basics. Luckily, there are many signs to tell if you're a good kisser.
"If it’s not going well, they’re going to want to throw in the towel, especially if it’s a first, second or third date," April Masini, New York based relationship expert and author, tells Bustle. "And if they come back for more, you’re delivering."
Even though you might be having tons of fun kissing someone, you might wonder if they feel the same way. Everyone has different preferences so it isn’t always easy to know if your technique is up to par. But the best thing about kissing is that it's so easy to change up your style if it's not working. If you don’t want to outright ask your kissing partner if you’re good at what you do, it’s possible to figure out how they really feel by the way they kiss you back. Here are seven signs to pay attention to the next time you’re making out that will tell you if you’re a good kisser.
1. Your Kissing Partner Doesn't Pull Away
A surefire sign to tell if your partner likes the way you kiss them is if they don't pull away. The easiest way to know whether or not you're a good kisser is if "no one tries to give you remedial kissing lessons and they don't pull away in the middle or after the first or second kiss," Masini says.
If your partner does pull away though, don't feel bad. Everyone's kissing technique is different, and it may just be a sign that you and your partner's styles just need to learn to adapt to one another.
2. People Tell You
If your kissing is really top-notch, your kissing partner might not be able to stop themselves from telling you how great you are. "It can be a simple, “Wow!” or a discourse on how expressive and sexy you are when you kiss," Masini says. If your partner wants to let you know how great of a kisser you are, they'll say something.
3. You're Focused On It
If you get in the zone any time you makeout, you're likely a good kisser. "A good kisser has the ability to create a mental bubble around the two people." April Davis, a dating and relationship expert and founder of LUMA tells Bustle. "When kissing, it should feel as if the two of you are focused on each other and the rest of the world blurs around you."
4. You Can Laugh Off Awkwardness
A good kisser knows how to make the most of an awkward situation. If you can laugh off any weird noise when you're making out, your partner will likely think that you're a great kisser. "You're both engaging on a physical level, and being truly comfortable is what will turn you and your partner on," Davis says.
But if you're pulling away, keeping your lips tight, or wiping your mouth after a kiss? "The other person will sense it and feel just as inhibited," Davis says. When it comes to kissing, it's cool to embrace any awkwardness.
5. Your Partner Is Excited To Kiss You
If you've already kissed someone before and they seem super into the idea of doing it again, it's probably because they like the way you kiss them.
Keep in mind though that everyone is different. "It's entirely possible to be a good kisser to one partner and not so much what another prefers," Carol King, author and staff sexologist for Good Vibrations, tells Bustle. There are so many ways to kiss, so being a good kisser is just a matter of finding someone you're compatible with.
6. You Can Adapt Your Style
Even though everyone has different preferences when it comes to kissing, if you can adapt your technique to what your partner is into, you're likely an excellent kisser. A good kisser knows how to switch up their technique depending on who they're kissing or what stage of arousal they're in.
"Kissing somebody who's interested but not turned on is likely going to be different from someone who's feeling very, very passionate," King says. If you know when to amp it up or slow it down, your partner will definitely enjoy kissing you.
7. Your Partner Is Into It
If your kissing counterpart seems actively engaged in the kiss, you're probably doing pretty well. Take note of how they react to you trying to kiss them. "If they don't meet your tongue with their tongue, you might want to pull back and slow down," King says. If they seem fully engaged in the act, you're most likely doing everything right.
Everyone's kissing style is different and there isn't one way that's inherently better than the rest. If the person you're kissing is engaged with what you're doing, you don't need to worry if your kissing is lackluster. The most important part of being a good kisser is enjoying the experience and making sure your partner is too.
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