Entertainment

Is Kylie Jenner Actually A Pop Star?

by Kristie Rohwedder

What is your story, Lisa Terror? Who are you, Lisa Terror? Are you Kylie Jenner’s alter ego, Lisa Terror? Is Kylie Jenner the secret frontwoman of Terror Jr., Lisa Terror? Or are we all Samsonite way off, Lisa Terror? What about the grape emojis from the Teen Vogue interview, Lisa Terror? Do the grape emojis mean what I think they mean, Lisa Terror? Are the grape emojis a clue, Lisa Terror? Or are the grape emojis a red herring? What about the grape emojis, Lisa Terror? What. About. The. Grape. Emojis.

Let us back things up: On Friday, Teen Vogue celebrated the release of pop group Terror Jr.’s debut EP, Bop City, with a Q&A. Teen Vogue asked the trio about their music, how they came to be, the trio’s mysterious vocalist, and, of course, the theory that Kylie Jenner is actually one third of the trio. No matter the question, the trio gave the same response: the grape emoji.

Terror Jr. seem to be big fans of grapes, eh? Huh. Interesting. Very interesting. Do you know who else loves grapes? Here's a hint: rhymes with "Schwylie Schwenner."

Whether it be of the frozen or unfrozen variety, Ms. Kylie Jenner really digs a grape.

Now, is “Terror Jr. used a grape emoji a bunch of times so that must mean Kylie is in Terror Jr. because Kylie loves grapes" the most airtight argument ever? I mean, no. According to that logic, practically anyone could be in Terror Jr. because practically everyone loves grapes. (Who isn't obsessed with grapes, am I right? They're basically candy disguised as fruit.)

Even so, I am not ready to let go of the maybe-clue. I mean, hi, of all the emoji in the land, why would Terror Jr. pick grapes (aka Kylie's favorite snack food)? Sure, it could be a coincidence, but what if it isn't?

If you'll excuse me, I must go grape at, er, grasp at some more straws.

Image: darkgreenmeadow/tumblr