How To Halloween, Based On Your Horoscope

Halloween time is now fully upon us, but you may have found yourself suddenly without plans. Or, you may have over-exerted yourself during the Halloweekend and just need a quiet night in with the perfect Halloween movie. Now, there’s no shortage of spooky options out there and while that’s swell news to witches-in-training like me, it’s maybe a bit overwhelming to normals who just want a film picked out for you. Well, it seems only appropriate to look to the stars: we can figure out what Halloween movie to watch based on your zodiac sign.

Now of course I should go into this saying that I’m a journalist(-ish), not an astrologist, so feel free to take my split-second-decided recommendations with a grain of salt. If the constellations are assigning you Sleepy Hollow but you really feel it’s a Hocus Pocus night, I won’t stop you. But if you’re really confused and feel as though a quick spin on the horoscope wheel could point you in the right direction, feel free to scroll down.

I mean, if nothing else, making a Halloween movie decision this way feels extra witchy, without all the effort that freaks like me put into this holiday. You’re welcome.

Aquarius: Halloweentown

The first one is a delightful salute to an unorthodox upbringing, considering that Marni and her siblings go from being banned from Halloween to learning that grandma basically comes from a place where monsters co-exist peacefully. Halloweentown also has like 20 sequels, which taps into that Aquarian laziness.

Pisces: Casper

You're probably a gentle, unselfish creature, so survey says you'd want to party with Casper and Kat (who, of the three Christina Ricci characters on the list, is probably the most endearing).

Aries: Hocus Pocus

What else screams "fire sign" like Bette Middler and that gigantic flaming hairstyle of hers? Settle down with the Sanderson Sisters.

Taurus: The Craft

Sarah, the only natural witch in the coven, screams earthiness. So does going into the woods and drinking the blood of your three best gal pals. This totally wasn't matched up because I'm a Taurus and this is my favorite witch movie, what are you talking about?

Gemini: Double, Double, Toil And Trouble

TWINS. I'm sorry, this one was just a given.

Cancer: The Addams Family

As a classic homebody who's probably always hunting for antique furniture, there's no way you wouldn't want to spend Halloween with The Addams clan and their Victorian-inspired haunts.

Leo: Scream

Even though Scream is somewhat of a pastiche of the slasher films of the '70s and '80s, it also reinvigorated the genre and spawned a strong enough franchise to warrant an MTV show, like, all these years later. In secret, it's a leader, not a follower, just like you.

Virgo: Sleepy Hollow

Ichabod Crane is trying to figure out what's the deal with the Headless Horsemen, but I'm sure you could draw out that information on your own if you were on the case, Virgo.

Libra: The Crow

If you have a strong sense of justice (and a penchant for mallgoth music, but that seems more like a Scorpio's wheelhouse) then you'll love Eric Draven's back-from-the-dead quest to balance the scale's after his fiancée's brutal murder.

Scorpio: Bram Stoker’s Dracula

You may consider yourself dark and passionate, but I'm pretty sure Gary Oldman as old Vlad could give you a run for your money in this spooky flick.

Sagittarius: The Blair Witch Project

You're a great thinker, and probably would be down to figure out what the deal is with The Blair Witch. There's no answers here, in case you missed when this movie was mass parodied over the past two decades years, but it's still worth checking out.

Capricorn: The Sixth Sense

You're likewise smart and a problem solver, and would probably be game to help out little Haley Joel Osment with his own seeing-dead-people thing. Of course, the ending is common knowledge here unless you also missed when this movie was mass parodied over the past two decades years. But eh, still spooky for the season, even with the twist ending exposed.

Images: Disney (1) Giphy (12)