One of the best and easiest ways to build attraction is to tease your partner. Mastering the art of teasing in order to build sexual tension is relatively simple. You need to be playful. You need to be flirty. Sometimes, it’s all about just taking the initiative to seduce your partner.
A 2011 study conducted by researchers at the University of Texas, Austin and the University of New Brunswick in Canada found that 64 percent of women and 43 percent of men say they're "conscious teasers. About 60 percent of men and women also say they’ve been teased at least once. In this study of college students, both men and women had similar motives for teasing, which was to make the object of their teasing want them sexually or see just how much the person wanted them. Most people only teased people they were getting close to or were already sexually involved with. Overall, many used teasing as a way to “affirm attraction.”
But playful teasing shouldn’t be limited to something that can only benefit your sex life. Recent research conducted by Dacher Keltner, a professor of Psychology and the director of the Greater Good Science Center at the University of California, Berkeley found teasing can actually be good for your relationship as well. The study found couples who playfully teased each other were better able to deal with conflict than those who don’t. They knew how to vent their frustrations in affectionate ways that ultimately led to a stronger bond. They also were happier and were more likely to stay together overall.
“Adding a playful tease into your sexual routine can bring levity, excitement and new pleasures into your relationship,” We-Vibe’s Global Passion Ambassador, Tristan Weedmark tells Bustle. “Sometimes we put a little too much pressure on sex and we forget how fun it can be. Teasing your partner is another way to bring playfulness and exploration to your relationship.”
Here are the best ways to tease your partner:
1. Stimulate Unexpected Parts Of Your Partner’s Body For A New Experience
“If you haven’t tried to before, you never know how you or your partner are going to respond,” Weedmark says. Here are a few areas to explore:
Scalp - While this erogenous zone my seem a little surprising, the scalp has tons of nerve endings, which make it very sensitive to touch. When stimulated, the scalp releases the feel-good serotonin and dopamine.
Wrists - They’re particularly sensitive because they have thin skin. “For many, the surprising act of having their wrists kissed or caressed is a huge turn on,” Weedmark says. It’s definitely a must-try!
Sacrum - It’s also known as the lower back where the sacral nerves are located. According to Weedmark, these nerves shoot all the way back down to the vagina. So anything from light touches to a full back massage can be incredibly pleasurable.
2. A Little Vibration Can Go A Long Away
Weedmark suggests using a remote controlled vibrator like the We-Vibe Sync to tease your partner in the bedroom or across the room. “As she gets more aroused, you can join in and continue to enjoy the vibes during sex,” Weedmark says. “And since every couple is different, Sync can be adjusted to get the fit that’s just right for the two of you.” There are so many great ways to use a vibrator with your partner. Teasing them with a toy can be a fun and sexy way to get them excited before you even get your hands on them.
3. Start The Tease Before You Make It Into The Bedroom
This could mean really anything. You could try visiting a sex shop together to spark your imagination and get that conversation started. You can use past memories to tease your partner while you’re out (i.e. “Remember that time we…”). You can go dancing and get things started with a little PDA. Or you can even keep it simple and offer up some unexpected affection. “Let the excitement of a long outside-the-bedroom flirting session build to the main event,” Weedmark says.
When it comes to teasing your partner in the bedroom, there are a couple of important do's and don’ts to remember. Do remember to be attentive and responsive to your partners needs and desires. It’s also important to communicate and ask what they like. Don’t make assumptions about what may turn your partner on — and don’t be afraid to try something new. According to Weedmark, a recent We-Vibe survey found that you’re four times more likely to think of yourself as the more “adventurous partner” when you do try something new. So, go for it.
Images: Andrew Zaeh for Bustle; Giphy(3)