Entertainment

'Twin Peaks' Fans Need These Mini Figures

by S. Atkinson

It's almost Christmas, or at least almost almost Christmas, and soon all your lunch breaks and weekends will be spent rabidly hunting down The Perfect Gift™ for your nearest and dearest. Well, let me cut you a break. If you're stumped for a present for the entertainment nerd in your life, Twin Peaks mini-lego sets are the gift you need. Yeah, they do pretty much what it says on the tin. These are adorkable mini plastic figurines of your favorite Twin Peaks characters, namely Agent Cooper, Audrey Horne, a morbid rendition of Laura Palmer, The Man From Another Place, and the Log Lady.

Sure, at $60, this isn't an office Secret Santa budget level present, but it is totally essential. Because with the Twin Peaks revival coming up next year, you slash your friend slash the both of you together are going to need to work through all your issues with the first two seasons of Twin Peaks via acting out key scenes in your apartment with the help of tiny plastic figurines. Think of it this way: it's like pop culture therapy but via playing. Here are the scenes that I'd be reworking through with the help of these handy toys.

Double Mountain Murder Mystery Town, $60

Agent Cooper And Audrey Horne's Weird Vibe

Because a large section of the internet needs to go have a good, long think about what they've said. Dudes, please let's endorse Twin Peaks' very smart decision to not have Agent Cooper and schoolgirl Audrey Horne have a sexual affair. But, nerd that I am, I'd love to rework Horne's Season 2 choices and have her respond to Agent Cooper's brush off with renewed focus on her schoolwork, not by taking shifts at the local brothel/casino.

The Log Lady's Isolation

When you think about it, was the Log Lady crazy or just lonely? Catherine E. Coulson is a fine looking lady with an even finer pair of glasses. In my plastic figurine remake, the Log Lady would team up with fellow eccentric-woman Nadine Hurley, and they'd go out for a few drinks and paint Twin Peaks red. Why the heck not?

The Man From Another Place

If Trekkies get to learn Klingon, why can't we learn Man-From-Another-Place-on? In my remake, the man in the most dapper suit in town teaches us how to speak his oddly beautiful, guttural language.

There's still so much to come to terms with, 15 years after the fact. Hopefully, with the help of these adorable toys, you'll be able to give Twin Peaks the narrative tweaks it needed.

Images: Citizen Brick