The Best 2016 Sex Toys That Don't Look Like Toys, So You Can Bring Them Home For The Holidays Without Fear
With the holidays coming up, you may be traveling or going to go back home to spend some time with your family — and you may be thinking about bringing home a sex toy or two with you. In fact, an Ann Summers survey conducted earlier this year found that 85 percent of women say they take their toys with them on vacation. But what happens if someone unintentionally finds your vibrator that you don't want seeing it? Aside from bringing home toys that are quiet, my solution is sex toys that don't look like sex toys.
A friend of mine actually had to deal with this the hard way when she met her boyfriend's family over the holidays. Like many women, she carefully packed her trusty vibe and made sure it stayed hidden inside her luggage. One night, the family gathered together for a special holiday dinner. Dinner was about ready to begin when one of the kids came in belting out Christmas songs into what looked like a microphone. Surprise, surprise...it wasn’t a microphone. One of her boyfriend’s nieces got into her things and unintentionally found her vibrator. Kids, right? Needless to say, my friend was embarrassed AF. While it wasn’t exactly the best way to make a good first impression, it definitely left an impression.
If you're worried about your partner's mom or your three-year-old cousin accidentally finding your sex toy over the holidays, save yourself the anxiety and get yourself one of these sex toys that don't look like sex toys:
1. The Vesper
Here’s something you can openly wear to a holiday dinner without any embarrassment. According to sex educator and CEO of pleasure product provider Vibrant, INC. Rebecca Engel, the Vesper is the “sexy wink everyone will love.” While the necklace is a super cute accessory, it also doubles as a sleek, rechargeable vibrator that comes in silver, rose gold, and gold. As a bonus, if you purchase this or any toy from the Vibrant website, proceeds from every purchase helps fund the Planned Parenthood of the Rocky Mountains. So you’ll be donating to a good cause.
2. The Tori
No matter how you look at this little bird, it really looks like a small piece of art. Because of that, this is one toy you won't necessarily have to keep hidden away. "Have it in its charging case on your bedside table. No one will know the seriously soft feel of the silicone vibrator or the intense pleasure it provides," Engel says.
3. The Egg
"This little Egg can go with you anywhere and everyone will think you’re planning to do some holiday baking," Engel says. It’s like a Fleshlight, in the sense that it's meant to fit snuggly over the penis. Except it's an egg. The fun part is, there are several different texture options like “Twister,” “Party,” and “Wavy,” which are all meant to provide different sensations. They do come with lube and are made for single use only.
4. The Limon
It pretty much looks like its namesake. It’s a little blue or pink lemon, depending on which color you choose. According to Engel, no one but you will know that this vibrator is an “insta-fav.” It’s probably because the vibrations and patterns are completely customizable with just a squeeze of your hand.
5. The MIA 2
This is a bullet-style vibe with a “lipstick design.” Just look at it. You can totally stick it in with your favorite lipsticks and no one will tell the difference. It's USB-rechargeable and meant for women who value discretion and secrecy in their toys.
6. The Bamboo
Here’s another vibe that can easily be kept in your makeup bag without anyone knowing the difference. The Bamboo is another bullet-style vibrator with an angled tip so you can hit all the right spots, wherever and however you want.
“When traveling during the holidays and/or staying at your parents' or in-laws' home, the discretion of your sex toys is key,” Jessica Gordon, a partner at online intimate products boutique LUVOQA, tells Bustle. “I would suggest compact vibrators with creative designs that can pass unnoticed if your mother-in-law or kid brother stumble upon them.”
The Heart Vibe is one of those recommended compact vibes. It's heart-shaped, so no one would know it’s a sex toy if they just found it lying around the room.
Similar to the Heart Vibe, this one is moon-shaped with a champagne gold colored trim. It contains two powerful motors for “pleasurable vibrations,” has four vibration speeds with adjustable intensity, and is waterproof so you can take it into the shower with you. As a bonus, it comes in a cosmetic bag so the packaging is super discreet.
9. The Yoni Egg
Unlike the Egg by TENGA, the Yoni Egg is for women. Yoni is a Sanskrit word meaning “Sacred Space” or vagina. According to Shelley Parris Williams founder of The Womb Sanctuary, “Yoni eggs help support women in a variety of ways such as strengthening their pelvic floor muscles. Once inserted into the vagina, you focus on bringing blood flow, attention, and energy to the Yoni so it helps you have juicier vaginal orgasms.”
Women are also able to have sex with a partner while the egg is inside, and is meant to provide additional pleasure to both parties. They’re made of polished semi-precious stone or crystal and are pretty to look at. No one's going to think this is a sex toy.
10. The Droplet
Similar to the Vesper by Crave, the Droplet is something you can use both publicly and privately. You can wear it as jewelry in the daytime. At night, you can twist the bottom caps to turn the pendants into discreet nipple vibrators.
11. Leather Cuffs
Crave has a great collection of products that can be worn publicly and used privately for other more fun stuff. Like the two necklaces on this list, these leather cuff bracelets are great for public and private use. In public, you can wear both cuffs on one wrist for a really cute accessory. In private, put one cuff on each wrist for a kinky time. Either way, I’m sure you’ll make great use out of it and no one will really know what it’s meant for.
12. Chakrub Dildos
“The Chakrub Dildos are made up of 100 percent real carved crystals shaped into wands,” Davia Frost, a sex specialist and educator at The Pleasure Chest in Chicago, tells Bustle. “They look almost too beautiful to play with and heat up rather quickly to your body temperature.” So if anyone asks, they’re paperweights.
14. Novel Erotics
Novel Erotics, a New Orleans-based company, sells a collection of adults products in a discreet book-style package. The “novel” contains a short story on the inside cover as well as a selection of products meant to compliment the theme.
For instance, the Hotel Affair book contains a blindfold, drip candles, a bullet vibe, and a soft cotton rope. “We designed these collections as a great solution for those who aren't really sure where to start when purchasing sex toys, and especially for those who are turned off by the gaudy packaging used for many adult products,” Anne Moyer, the President of Novel Erotics, Inc. tells Bustle. “The discreet packaging is a great save for those who have snoopy children like I do. As the manufacturer, we have ‘novels’ everywhere and no one pays any attention to them!” It’s definitely something fun to try.
15. The Rubber Ducky
Isn't this cute? This is actually a travel-size version of the bestselling “I Rub My Duckie” massager, so there is a bigger one. It's waterproof and at three inches long, it’s easy to take wherever you go.
As you can see there's a wide range of sex toys that don't look like sex toys for you to choose from. Some, of course, are a little more discreet than others, but overall, I wouldn't be embarrassed leaving any of these out. Personally, I'm going with the duck.
Images Courtesy of brands