To anyone who was wondering what Kevin Federline has been up to, 1) get a hobby and 2) he's been doing what he apparently does best, impregnating women. Over the weekend, Federline's wife Victoria Prince gave birth to baby girl, their second child together and Federline's sixth overall. Oh, and if you don't know why Federline is relevant, 1) he really isn't and 2) two of those kids are half Britney Spears, the products of the pair's two-year marriage.
Oh, those were the days, weren't they? Federline, a backup dancer and aspiring rapper, left his pregnant fiancee, Shar Jackson and managed to land Spears pre-breakdown, leading to those two kids, Sean Preston and Jayden James, as well as an epic set of wedding sweat suits and the short-lived reality series Britney & Kevin: Chaotic. More recently, however, Federline hasn't been up to much. In 2011 he had his fifth child, Jordan Kay, also with Prince, before appearing on the Australian weight-loss show Excess Baggage. He then married Prince in August 2013 and until this baby, we haven't heard much about him. So what's next?
Based on the frequency of his reproducing, we can only assume a kids' band is in the future? The only problem? Most pop groups have five members, if not less. The addition of the latest Baby Federline to the crew means someone is going to get cut when the band forms. Of course Jayden and Preston are safe, they're the only kids with a famous pop star for a mother. Besides the publicity they'd bring to the band, presumably called Fed Up or FederLive, they have the best odds of possessing some kind of talent.
The new baby girl is probably safe too, since the band should take a couple more years to get together. As the youngest, she'll bring an instant adorable factor as she plays the tambourine, xylophone or other toddler-appropriate instrument. And as long as Federline is married to Prince, their other daughter, 2-year-old Jordan, should be a lock for the band, too. Prince won't let one of her own kids be excluded, after all.
So that just leaves Federline's two kids with Shar Jackson, 11-year-old Kori and 9-year-old Kaleb. Is Kori too old next to her siblings or do they need a more mature leader? Which one has more talent? Maybe Federline will get lucky and one of them will not want to be in the band, otherwise, there will have to be an audition that pits sibling against sibling.
May the best Federline win, and may they all go on to lead normal, fulfilling lives despite their (half) unfortunate gene pool.