Happy Easter! Now, let's talk about sin, shall we? The first time I felt like a sinner, I was 11-years-old. Though I had been in trouble for things before — like not finishing my homework diligently enough or getting into fights with my older siblings — the word sin had never really come up. It wasn’t until I hit 11, had the utter joy of dressing for my First Holy Communion, and attended my first confession, that I was told my actions were wicked.
Heavily breathing, palms dripping with sweat so profuse that I began looking like I’d had a fully-clothed bath, I sat in the confessional telling a priest about all my evil ways:
- I had raised my voice to my mother several times throughout the course of my long life.
- I often caught myself wishing the horrid cheerleader in my class would take a pom-pomed fist to the face.
- I was developing a crush on the nerdy boy who sat next to me in school and was starting to think dirty things along the lines of, “What would it be like to have a boyfriend?"
- On a few occasions, I had “gone to bed,” only to sneakily chat on the phone with my best friend.
For my sins, I had to say three Hail Mary’s, four Our Father’s, and come back again in a month for some more cleansing.
The concept of sin was so engrained that I applied it to all decisions and aspects of my life. And though it’s been a few years since I’ve stopped attending church and started ticking the Agnostic box on all questionnaires, a lot of the things my mama taught me will probably nag at me forever.
My mother is both Colombian and Catholic, and if there’s one thing I have learned over the years, it’s that Latinos take their religion seriously. And I’m willing to bet it’s a common sentiment amongst many children of devout Catholics. Here are 17 other things my fellow Catholics will understand...
YOU WILL ALWAYS FEEL GUILTY. ABOUT EVERYTHING.
YOU CAN NEVER BE DISLOYAL TO YOUR PARENTS, EVEN IF/WHEN THEY TOTALLY DESERVE IT
A Part of You thinks your PARENTS (AND PROBABLY JESUS) WILL KNOW IF YOU SAY THE LORD'S NAME IN VAIN
LEAVING FOOD ON your PLATE MEANS YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T CARE ABOUT THOSE IN NEED
WHEN YOU DO SOMETHING YOU'RE NOT PROUD OF, YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO SHARE IT WITH SOMEONE (I.E. CONFESS)
IF YOU DON'T GO TO CHURCH WITH YOUR PARENTS WHEN YOU VISIT THEM, YOU MAY AS WELL NOT VISIT
a part of you still thinks ANY AILMENT, INJURY, OR MALEDICTION can BE CURED IF ONLY YOU JUST BELIEVE
even tHE THOUGHT OF NOT LOOKING AFTER YOUR PARENTS WHEN THEY GET OLD MAKES YOU feel like A BAD PERSON
YOU CAN NEVER DO WORK ON SUNDAY
IF YOU DON'T PRAY FOR THE WELL BEING OF YOUR LOVED ONES, ANYTHING BAD THAT HAPPENS TO THEM WILL BE YOUR FAULT
NOT DONATING TO CHARITY MAKES YOU SELFISH AND CRUEL (which might be true)
WHENEVER YOU SUCCUMB TO A LUSTFUL THOUGHT OR ACT, YOU'RE worried you're CHIPPING AWAY at your CHANCE OF HEAVEN
IF YOU DON'T THANK GOD EVERY MORNING AND NIGHT FOR LETTING YOU LIVE ANOTHER DAY, YOU MUST WANT TO DIE
FORGETTING TO EAT FISH EVERY FRIDAY OF LENT GIVEs YOU ANXIETY
and NOT GIVING UP SOMETHING GOOD FOR LENT GIVEs YOU even MORE ANXIETY
IDENTIFYING AS AN AGNOSTIC IS considered CODE FOR 'closet ATHEIST'
Still, you sort of believe a GUARDIAN ANGEL IS PROBABLY LOOKING AFTER YOU