'Southern Charm' Season 1 Finale Might Be Crazy but It Won't Be Boring

Monday night, the excellent first season of Southern Charm will end. But how will it end, exactly? We know Kathryn Dennis and Thomas Ravenel hash it out, Kathryn and Craig Conover olive branch it up, and Whitney Sudler-Smith hosts a Fourth of July party at what his mother calls his “Salvation Army-ish” new abode. The show has yet to let me down, so I'm confident episode eight will be the glorious finale this glorious show deserves.

What else will happen during the finale? What else can we anticipate? What'll be the big reveal[s]? I took it upon myself to analyze the clips from the finale made available on Bravo’s website. But I didn't leave it there. I brewed up some SC-related hypotheses. Mad Men, True Detective, and Breaking Bad shouldn't have all of the fun. Let me get weird with Southern Charm, too! Here are a few finale predictions/theories I've generated based on said videos:

Prediction #1: “You believe that?”

When T-Rav confronts Kathryn about Whitney's confession, she questions who/what T-Rav believes multiple times. Perhaps this drives T-Rav to wonder not only if he believes Whitney, but what it means to believe.

He puts the Kathryn conflict on the back burner while he explores the concept of belief. He goes to the local university and photocopies various texts by philosophers like Quine, Fodor, Dennett, and Gettier. He checks out every relevant book he can find at the public library. He locks himself away in his study and reads. And reads. And reads. He goes days without sleep.

A week later, Kathryn finds him slumped over the stacks of reading material. He's drooling and mumbling. His pupils are huge. She runs to the kitchen and returns to the study with a bucket of ice water. She splashes his face. He shakes his head. His pupils return to a normal size.

"Thank you, Kathryn," he says. "You saved my life. I don't believe that. I know that."

They leave the study and immediately get to day drinking.

Prediction #2: Shep Gets Into Vests and Sunglasses

During the Fourth of July party, Danni challenges Shep to do more with his life. Shep hangs his head in shame. As he’s looking down, his eyes focus on the colorful holiday vest he’s wearing. He removes his patriotic sunglasses in order to get a better look at the vest. And then he sees his sunglasses in his hand next to the vest on his torso. He realizes the world would be a better place if there were more novelty eyewear and vest pairings. Could I get into a sunglasses and vest combo business? he wonders. Could this be my calling?

He scrambles into Whitney's place and finds a pen and paper. He schemes and plans and sketches ideas. Party wear shouldn't be limited to pants, he thinks. Designer party vests and sunglasses are the future, and I want to lead the charge.

Prediction #3: Fantasy Land Is Real

T-Rav says he and Kathryn were in Fantasy Land before, but that they are no longer in Fantasy Land. Uh, hold up. I am not about to let that slide. He might've meant this figuratively. That's a fair assumption. A reasonable assumption.

But what if there is a real-ass Fantasy Land? And T-Rav and Kathryn hold the key?

My mind is racing.

Prediction #4: The OinKing

Kathryn fiddles with the window shutters. We assume it's nothing more than nerves, but there could be something outside. Something ominous. Something menacing. Something with a vendetta. Something that's none too pleased about the pig chase."What's out there?" T-Rav asks."Don't you know?" Kathryn replies. "It's the OinKing. He's the leader of the pigs, and he's pissed about the pig chase. While you and Whitney were having your little chat, the OinKing told me he's going to lurk around the cabin until we leave.""Will he attack? You know I legally cannot hold a gun. Can he be vanquished?""I don't know. I don't know what he's capable of. Could you do me a favor? Please put your pajamas on. The Oinking creeping around plus you not wearing your pajamas is stressing me out."

"Okay, fine."

Why yes, the OinKing is my favorite prediction. Really hoping I hit the nail on the head with that one.

Image: Bravo