Oh, SUNY Binghamton. Some people call it the "Ivy of the SUNYS" because it's the "premier public university in the Northeast." Well, Ivy League it is not, because, let's face it: Binghamton, New York ain't Cambridge. And maybe that's a good thing.
As a Binghamton alumnus, I know that Bearcats are bright and motivated, and that they share their pride (and significantly smaller amount of students loans! Woooo public school!) with one another. After all, there are certain experiences and feelings that only we SUNY Bing can truly understand:
You chuckle when people call your school "The Ivy of The SUNYs"
But then you tell people you went to "the Ivy of The SUNYs."
You've Been Asked Why You Didn't "Just Go To Cornell"
Because you can just, you know, go to Cornell, like you can go to Taco Bell.
You experienced Parade Day, and lived to tell the tale of just how much you don't recall
That pre-game for St. Patrick's Day, as supported by all of the Jews from Long Island at the school.
or you didn't go to Parade Day ... and lived to tell the tale of how awful riding the bus was
Or maybe you didn't live to tell. Those buses were hot messes on that fateful day.
You rode an OCCT bus while squished against a window
Better yet, you had a friend who drove one of these blue buses and knew how to squeeze you in during prime time hours without getting crushed to death.
Your roommate was from Long Island
Or maybe Westchester. But probably Long Island.
If you were an artist type, you took Math In Action
And whatever the hell that cut the cake method was, it did not help you with your taxes.
You went to The Rat at least once, and you cringe to remember it
In fact, you're cringing right now recalling this seedy basement bar. I'm sorry.
At first, you thought the Belmar was for townies
And then it became one of the only places you hung out when you decided you were "over the downtown scene" and "too old for that." You are too old, man. So old.
This thrills you
Because it's at The Lost Dog Cafe, WHICH IS SO SO SO GOOD
You joke about how our football team is undefeated
Because there isn't one! Haha, we're funny, us bearcats.
and You're still like, "WTF is a bearcat"
Is it when a bear and a cat get it on? It's certainly your mascot! Uhh, go Bearcats!
Ingrid Michaelson is more than just a pop star to you
She's an ALUMNUS.
And same goes for Billy Baldwin
You guys are like brethren. Seriously.
You know you have to be an engineer to navigate the engineering building
Only they knew how to get around it. That building requires a bachelor of science.
You like to reference The Twilight Zone on occasion
After all, the creator of the show is a city of Binghamton native! What's up, Rod! (But seriously, sometimes you wonder if Binghamton is haunted.)
You know the stereotypes of all of the dorms
And even if College-in-the-Woods and Newing were where the parties happened, Mountainview was just so damned nice. But that hill, man. That hill was tough.
Spring Fling = School Is Almost Out!
You've mastered a technique that ensures you score a computer in Bartle during prime time hours
It is almost like The Hunger Games.
Wegmans is your Disneyland
So many aisles. So many aisles.
You know not to drink the blue stuff
But that might be an important lesson for anyone at any college, ever.
You've had to tell people that no, you don't go to college in the Hamptons. It is not Binghampton
Learn to spell, Humans of The Internet.
Flood Days! Ice Days! Snow Days!
Again, not the Hamptons.
Even if people called it "B. U," you can't tell other people you went to "B.U."
Because you didn't go to Boston University.
And most of all, you know that whenever you meet someone who went to Binghamton, you'll always be like:
Because just like Billy Baldwin, ya'll are brethren
Gotta love this school.