Growing up in the Pacific Northwest is a unique experience: Not only is it always raining, but you are always surrounded by kale-colored vegetation, and beautiful dense hiking trails. As we natives know, being a Pacific Northwester offers a close-knit sense of community. That's especially true for those of us who grew up in Eugene, Oregon.
We natives understand the sting of shoes ruined by unintentional puddle jumping; or seeing an orange-and-black ball cap on the head of an out-of-towner; or of witnessing the Oregon Ducks football team lose (which, as we all know, rarely happens). If you're from here, you know what I'm talking about. Here's how you know you're a true Eugene, Oregon native.
You bleed Yellow and Green
If You Don't Like Football, you Might as Well get the Hell Out of Town
The Saturday Market is so passé...but you'll probably take your out of town relatives there when they come to visit
Because how cool and unique are these hemp necklaces and clay pots?
You Had no Idea Birkenstocks aren't as widely accepted (or worn) in the rest of the country
They're so durable and comfy!
Growing up near the University of Oregon meant you partied with the "big kids" early
You refer to Phil Knight as Uncle Phil, even though you're not related to him
How about a little cash for the J school, huh Uncle P?!
The only fashion sense in the town is the Ducks' multitude of different costumes, er, uniforms
you know The only piece of clothing you really need is a black Northface
It's like the Snuggie's little brother that's socially acceptable to wear in public.
Prince Puckler's Ice Cream is the only place you'll get a scoop
That would be me with the president and first lady (before they were the president and first lady) in 2008.
You plan your summer around The Oregon Country Fair
That is, if you can score a pass — because you love getting high, public nudity, people on stilts, the drum tower, and dust as much as the next kid.
You love Hiking in the rain
And by hiking in the rain, you mean... hiking
When you try to describe the climate of your town to outsiders, the only thing they can relate to is "you know the movie Twilight?"
you know Canteens are essential
You have one in your car, on your bike, on your key ring, and probably one in your mouth right now. Burn in Hell, plastic water bottles!
If you don't have a recycling bin in your home (or compost) you might as well just kill yourself
Because that carbon footprint you're creating? MASSIVE.
You LOL at tie-dye appearing in major retailers
Because tie-dye isn't a trend. It's my childhood.
The first sign of sunshine means lounging in the nearest plot of green grass
It might be 40 degrees out, but sunshine means summer, right?!
you had to decide between attending conventional high school or International High School
And you chose IHS, because you're "alternative."
You were as outraged over the Burrito Boy price increase epidemic of the mid 2000s
But you'll continue to order one "wet bean and cheese" every Friday night at 3 am for the rest of your college career.
You know Bijou Arts Cinema used to be a morgue, and you'll choose it over the IMAX any day
Except when Spider-Man 2 comes out, because man, you love Spider-Man.
You're glad Downtown finally has more microbreweries than eateries
Who needs food, when you can have MORE. BEER?
A car? Oh, you mean my bike? Yeah I got a couple of those
You are cultured
And by cultured, I mean you spent Spring Break in a resort in Thailand instead of Mexico.
You live in rain boots
Mostly because the elements have already destroyed all of your "delicate" footwear.
You don't bother putting on makeup in the morning
Because it will slide right off your face by lunchtime.
You often can't tell if people you pass on street are homeless ... or your congressmen
Because putting any effort into fashion is not only frowned upon, but ostracizes you.
You eat only organic
NO EXCEPTIONS (except for Burrito Boy).
Or at least you tried going vegan at one point, just so you can say you tried.
You Have Mixed Feelings About the Logging Industry
It's Oregon's bread and butter, but... the treeeeeees!
You'll get Drunk at Max's, Falling Sky, or Rennie's Landing
None of that Webfoot shit — And Taylor's was soooo Freshman year of college.
Glenwood or Brail's is the Only Hangover Breakfast
Being called a "Dirty Hippie" is the Best Compliment You Could Receive
Oh, and "Tree Hugger"
That's a good one too.
Most of all, one thing is for certain
YOU LOVE YOUR DUCKS!!
Gotta love this town.