Rarely do I ever indulge so indulgently in celebrity rumors, but the Solange-Beyonce elevator footage screened round the world is making a monster out of me. The latest "news?" That Solange will be on Saturday Night Live. She will be neither the host — it's my husband, Andy Samberg — nor the musical guest — it's my alien mistress, St. Vincent — so what exactly will Solange be doing on SNL? Well the rumor, according to the blotter of rumors, MediaTakeOut, claims that Solange will make a cameo appearance in one of the sketches on the May 17 episode, playing a Curb Your Enthusiasm-esque version of herself; specifically, "a superhero singer with anger management issues." If you think this has nothing to do with The Elevator then you're a goddamn fool, get off the Internet!
If this does actually happen, the sketch will either be a great way for Solange to finally diffuse the tension from the incident (although the episode is an entire three days away; who knows what developments will surface in such an eon?), or it will be a horribly misled and miss-the-mark minimizing of domestic violence. Urrrrgh.
I hope it's the former and not the latter, but we all know that SNL doesn't have the greatest track record when dealing with subjects of a sensitive matter — just a few weeks ago, SNL writer Leslie Jones appeared on Weekend Update and chortled about slavery. Not a super classy move. Regardless of our ever-persistent trepidation when it comes to SNL, Solange's presence is definitely something to keep this rumor mill going. Will she explicitly acknowledge the elevator? Or, like Beyonce has been so flawlessly and passive-aggressively doing on Instagram, will she smugly avoid it?
We'll find out this Saturday.