Elmo is SO METAL, You Guys

by Alicia Lutes

If you have any small children in the room and don't want to completely destroy their ideas about Jim Henson's magical world of fluffy, happy puppets, get them out of there now. Otherwise, this video of Elmo singing heavy metal karaoke is going to ruin theirs, yours, and everyone else's childhood and/or any relationship you may have had with the happiest, most ticklish monster on all of Sesame Street . (You've been warned.) Because Elmo is too metal for that shit now, you guys.

Unless, of course, there is nothing you find unsettling about Elmo rock-moshing out to some seriously metal music. (P.S. that music would be Drowning Pool's "Let the Bodies Hit the Floor.") Or if you aren't slightly saddened by Elmo's repeating of "nothing's wrong with Elmo" as if he actually wants to mean it but truly does not.

I mean maybe the idea of Elmo scream-singing and head-banging his way through a song that contains lyrics such as "Skin against skin blood and bone / You're all by yourself but you're not alone / You wanted in now you're here / Driven by hate, consumed by fear" doesn't terrify you or ensure you will endure at least seven days of possessed doll nightterrors. Maybe.

Maybe I'm old fashioned, but there's something about an icon of your childhood and harbinger of good things and happy times singing along to a tune that the band has explained is about the "mosh pit code of honor" and where their fans' passion comes from. But maybe you think there's nothing wrong with Elmo.