Pretty Little Liars fans: Was anyone else really happy when Aria told Ezra that they were over — for good — last season? Because I was absolutely thrilled. Ezra and Aria's relationship has creeped me out from the moment they locked eyes at that college bar and has continued to do so throughout all four seasons of Pretty Little Liars . Call me old-fashioned, but a relationship built on lies doesn't sound too healthy to me, and it's amazing that these two haven't realized how dysfunctional their relationship is.
The Season 5 Pretty Little Liars spoilers aren't exactly making me feel better about the state of Ezra and Aria's relationship. Even though Aria told Ezra that they were done after she found out about his former relationship with Alison — and the fact that he was using Aria to write a book about Alison's disappearance — new reports are saying that these two are far from over. According to showrunner I. Marlene King, the two are "like magnets," and are "soulmates." You know what I read that as? That these two are oh so not over. Blech.
But, like... shouldn't they be? Ezria has more issues than Hanna has shoes. In fact, we've got six big reasons why Ezria is the most dysfunctional couple on television.
Their relationship was built on lies
Aria and Ezra's first meeting consisted of lying to one another and then making out in a public restroom. Aria lied about her age. Ezra neglected to mention that he knew exactly how old the underage Aria was because he had been stalking her in order to find out more information about his maybe-dead ex. I bet he didn't even play B-26.
Their student-teacher dynamic is super gross
If I realized that I had inadvertently hooked up with one of my new teachers, I would probably have transferred schools by lunch time. That is not what Aria did on Pretty Little Liars. Instead of the two deciding to part ways, they kept their relationship on the DL... while Aria was still Ezra's student. That meant that Ezra still graded Aria's exams, gave her A's on her English papers, and called on her when she raised her hand in class... while also being her boyfriend. That's unethical and super icky... but hey, that's Ezra Fitz.
Ezra wants Aria all to himself... but only when it's convenient for him
Remember when Ezra convinced Aria to keep their rekindled relationship a secret from her friends by saying that she needs to start thinking of him as the person she's closest to? Yeah, that didn't sit so well with me. (The fact that he said it with the creepiest look on his face didn't exactly help.) Of course, Ezra's desire to be with Aria 24/7 was less of a doting boyfriend move and more that he wanted to protect his source for his latest mystery book. At the end of the day, his reasons aren't even very important — any dude who suggests you spend less time with your friends for the sake of your relationship is bad news.
Aria hasn't always been faithful
For the record, Aria kissing another guy in no way absolves Ezra of all of the crap he's done, but this really wasn't okay on any level, either. It all started when Aria bonded with Ezra's little brother Wesley when he came to town for a visit. Ezra was super busy with "Maggiegate" at the time, so Aria was feeling a little insecure in her relationship. Wesley was sweet, well-read, and surprisingly age appropriate. Wesley and Aria bonded over poetry (ugh, of course) and ended up kissing. Aria pulled away quickly, and it was never spoken of again. But shouldn't it have been? You just kissed your boyfriend's brother, Aria. Making out with your boyfriend's sibling is a sign that something is really wrong in your relationship, don't you think?
Their relationship is a lot of work
Every relationship takes some work, but Ezria has never had it easy. Ever. And most of the time I think that's how they like it — their passion for one another is what keeps them together when everything else in the world seems to be against them. That's not exactly healthy — it took Ezra having a secret love child for Aria to realize that their relationship wasn't working out, and they still got back together. Ugh. Yes, passion can be fun, but usually it just leads to a lot of tears. No relationship should make you cry that much.
They can't share their individual worlds with each other
A few people know about Ezra and Aria's affair outside of the little liars, but no one is particularly thrilled about it. The school can't find out about their relationship or Ezra will be fired. Aria's parents may be warming to the idea of the two of them dating, but they're still crossing their fingers in hopes that one day Aria will bring home a nice, age-appropriate boy for dinner instead. Outside of silly things like "legal issues," Ezra and Aria are in totally separate places in their lives. Aria's going to the prom while Ezra is chaperoning it, for goodness sake. It's also very weird to see Ezra talking to Aria like a girlfriend and her friends like an authority figure. Sure, he can't exactly be buddy-buddy with Aria's friends in the same way that she is, but you know that these two are never going to go on a double date with Paige and Emily. And that kind of sucks.
Sorry, Ezria shippers, but this is one romance I just can't get behind. It's way too much of a mess.
Images: ABC Family; Giphy (6)