Kanye West For Chicago Mayor? It's Not as Far Fetched as You May Think
Even with all of the Kimye wedding media frenzy, there's still an unbelievable demand to have more Kanye West in the limelight, but this time it has nothing to do with fashion, reality TV, crazed rants or his music. Reportedly, someone wants Yeezy to make a 2015 run for mayor of Chicago. This sounds downright scary. Could you imagine having Kanye West as a mayor of a major metropolis? Aside from a mass exodus from the city, I could see him as an elected official turning into something bad... real bad. Aside from West immediately tapping Riccardo Tisci for a fashionable redesign of all the city's stop signs (octagons are so last season), a few other prospective disasters come to mind.
Ye's first order of business would probably be to erect a statue in his likeness and declare himself ruler of the city. (Sorry, Oprah). Visitors would be permitted to kiss its feet, but absolutely no photos!West would officially designate the week of his birthday as Kanye West Week. Everyone in the city would be required to wear those leather pants he loves. All the sweaty folks who dare object to sporting leather in June would just have to deal-- or move.
On Sundays, all Chicagoans would be required to tune into a weekly West rant in which he highlights his accomplishments and demands to be praised. "Jesus Walks" would serve as the introduction for the all-day broadcast, which would cover topics like "How a Kanye West Song Ended Rush Hour Traffic," plus a shorter segment in which West waxes poetic about how lucky Chicago is to have a mayor who's married to "the most beautiful woman of all time."West would propose a citywide anti-interruption ordinance. Absolutely no one would be permitted to interrupt another person, unless it's to discuss how awesome it is to have Kanye West as a mayor.Wanna get out of a parking ticket? Sorry, West won't grant that request, but he'll knock $10 off for any offender who can perform one of his hit songs on the spot. Don't worry-- he will patiently listen to you rap on the street.If anything, West would bring a little more art and aggression to the city, sprinkled with a gallon of narcissism. Speaking of, he's probably somewhere scoffing at the suggestion that he become a mere mayor. After all we know how he feels about the president, so he'd probably much rather that title, which gets him one step closer to his ultimate goal of ruling the world.