What are your Father's Day plans this year? How are you going about telling your Dad he's a super, grade-A, supercalifragilistic numero uno padre (or whatever other descriptive words float your Father's Day boat)? Did you call? Text? Email? Or...send a card?
Ah, sending a card. It seems so simple, yet there is SO MUCH MORE that lingers behind the age-old traditions of Hallmark, Shoebox, and the like. Perhaps you just picked up some really cliche, trite Hallmark number from the back of the 99 cent bin that says, "Happy Father's Day" with picture of a golf ball. Or maybe you eschewed the usual trip down to your nearest pharmacy, and instead created a DIY card and came up with a quote yourself. That's always well-received. When it comes to cards, pretty much anything goes, so long as it comes from the heart and commends your dad for his years of optimal paternity, right?
But sometimes it's better to say it in graphics and words by somebody else. The cards you're about to see are...well, some of the worst Father's Day cards there are. So, unless you have plans to give your Dad a second card that says "Happy Opposite Day!" you may want to straw away from some of these awful, albeit totally hilarious, cards.
But you're not great, either.
Things you don't want to be thinking about while you write a Father's Day card.
Uhh...so your dad's a werewolf? Or is this a curse you're setting on your dad so that he becomes one? Or "howlin'" means cool in your vernacular? If that's the case, this takes a dated colloquialism a tad too far.
Because nothing says "Happy Father's Day" quite like "'coulda been a stripper, Dad."
"Like, except for that time when I was six when you didn't let me eat cupcakes for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I still remember that. I always will."
When in doubt, circle what fits.
Everything about this is awful.
Actually, this is amazing if your dad's a Breaking Bad fan — but let's hope you two didn't cook that way together.
No, wait. This is incredible.