School Gives Out "Horniest Student" Award

by Viet VoPham

Yes, you probably spent your senior year of high school waiting with bated breath to see what college you got into. But an event met with equal anticipation? The announcement of senior superlatives! These yearbook honors typically fall along the lines of "Best Smile" or "Most Likely to Succeed", but Bellingham High School in Washington state did things differently this year. The school handed out awards for "horniest stud" and "horniest girl," an act that is clearly causing some parental uproar.

The superlative competition is pretty fierce, and seniors have to up their game so they can be forever remembered on the pages of their yearbook. But would you be honored or mortified if you were immortalized as your high school's horniest student? My guess is that guys would be psyched and girls would be embarrassed because, you know, gender norms and sexual double standards and all that.According to The Washington Times, Bellingham High School's awards ceremony was hosted by Teri Grimes, the school's drama teacher, and her teenage daughter. What I find shocking is that a parent would think this stunt wouldn't cause an uproar. Yes, it may be mildly amusing, but nowadays, when students' bodies are strictly policed by their schools, it's no surprise that people reacted negatively. Grimes was apparently parading around onstage and shouting out profanities, awarding the proclaimed horniest teenagers with sex toys. I know, I don't even believe it either.

Not surprisingly, Grimes sent out an apology after the entire debacle. Although district officials are still in the middle of evaluating the situation; neither Grimes, her daughter, nor any other students involved have faced any immediate penalties. Even though it's been reported that Grimes is retiring later this year for unspecified reasons, hopefully she's learned that some things are better left at home.After all of this sex and school talk, I've learned one thing...

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