Entertainment

Welcome To Litchfield, Steenburgen!

by Kristie Rohwedder

If you already finished the second season of Orange Is the New Black , you might need something to help you come down from the marathon. Well, perhaps this news will do the trick: Mary Steenburgen will be on Season 3 of Orange is the New Black! Thursday morning, the award-winning actress tweeted, “Very excited to go to my first wardrobe fitting of OITNB! Will I be in orange or black?:)” AHHHHHHHHHH. Holy cannoli, she is a fantastic addition to an already fantastic ensemble. So, who will she play? Per The Hollywood Reporter, Steenburgen’s OITNB role is top-secret. Sigh. We're going to have wait until the next batch of episodes is available on Netflix to find out, eh? IT'S SO FAR AWAY. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Oh wait. Now I'm even more revved up about OITNB. I guess this is the opposite of a comedown. Oops. Sorry about that.

Man oh man, who doesn't love the very funny and charming Steenburgen? (Heck, who doesn't want to be the very funny and charming Steenburgen?) Whatever the OITNB role is, I’m game. I sort of hope Steenburgen will play a very sweet-yet-volatile prisoner who butts heads with Piper, steals waffles from the kitchen, and has a crazy flashback episode. She could be, I don't know, a convicted car thief. Or a mob boss. Or an arms dealer.

I can see it now: Steenburgen as the most glamorous and beautiful arms dealer ever. She'd wear fabulous high heels and skirt suits, intimidate/punish people who've wronged her, and haggle over the prices of illegal weapons. And her voice would still be so kind and gentle. My imagination is running WILD.